Princes of the Universe - Book 4: Hearts
by PocketHero
Summary: Lovino Sagrav is a brutal murderer. Escaping to the foreign Kingdom of Hearts and meeting his doppelganger Feliciano Vargas; Lovino takes Felix's place to become invisible and hide from the truth - but what happens when Lovino falls in love with a Knight under Feliciano's name? Spamano & Gerita - Hetalia!Cardverse - [Rated M for many things] The climatic end to the POTU series :'(
1. Hearts - Part 1

_**Hetalia!Cardverse:** Lovino( S. Italy)xAntonio(Spain), Spamano.  
Feliciano(N. Italy )xLudwig(Germany) Gerita._

_[**RATED M** for blood, descriptive gore, frightening themes,  
coarse language and very strong violence, sexual references]_

For those of you who only want **Spamano fluff** you should read:

**_Hearts Part2, Part3 and Part4._**

If you want your **hearts ripped out** read the _**whole thing** _:)

_Human names used._

_Last book in 'Princes of the Universe' series_

_The final climatic end to the POTU series!_

* * *

**Princes of the Universe**

**:Book 4 – **_**Hearts:**_

I am Jack.

I am Felix.

I am Lovi.

I am brother.

I am friend.

I am lover.

I am despicable.

I am all the things that I am not. It is merely a name given to me by those who claim to know me. No one really knows me… No one really knows me at all.

I am Lovino Vargas… and I am disgraceful.

Cursed from birth, death has shadowed me since I was torn from my mother's womb in a futile attempt to save her life… she bled to death. My father only ever saw me as defective, as a mistake… a murderer. I won't deny that I am not any of those things.

I lived in a far off country when I was a child; far over the waves, we lived off the ocean and thrived in the ports of hot sunny countries. I never had a definite home… but every home I visited was beautiful; in its own unique way, perhaps it was only I who could see such beauty. I seldom drank clean water and ate good meat; my father wouldn't allow such things, so I lived off the thick red wine as if it were water… the rich flavour which I had grown so accustomed to would stain my shirt with its fruity aroma. Without edible meat, I stole tomatoes from the gardens of my homes; I was a skilled thief, so I was never caught or blamed. Tomatoes in my stomach, wine in my veins, blood on my hands… I lived and breathed the colour red. And I loved it. Once a week I would drape myself in this colour and lay myself in a road, crying and wailing for help; I was as good an actor as I was thief, and the two skills compliment each other nicely. When people would kneel down to assist this poor wounded child I would snatch all their spare coins and jewellery without noticing… most of my profits went to my father.

Some nights he would come home heavily drunk and I would be left alone to clean his flailing piss and vomit. He created me when he was drunk… thus fulfilling the fact that I was a mistake.

I was ten when he came stumbling through the front door to our beat-up shack; it was creaky, dusty and stank of alcohol and smoke, you could hear the ocean all day and night from our shack. I was adding up the worth of that day's catch of coin when he turned to me on the floor and shouted in slur; I could never make out what he yelled to me that night, as his grey and scrawny frame came thrashing wildly armed with a smashed beer bottle… who cares… I loathed him regardless. Scrambling out of the way he nicked my ear with the sharp glass and I tumbled into the floorboards clutching my bleeding ear. He laughed in amusement and burped, "whadda pussy! You ain't no son o' mine! Ugly face and piss yellow eyes! Hah!" the normal fiery rage burned a hole in my chest as it usually did when he said this, the tears streaming down my filthy cheeks burnt just as bad on the cool wooden floor. On a normal night my father would now retire to his bed; rolling on his own vomit, but not tonight… no, "y'know what boy? Ah reckon that I'd be rich without ya! Swimmin' in gold! Not piss like yer eyes! Yer mother was a whore anyway… not worth my time or cash… what do I get in return? Dinner, average sex… and you! Ah mistake! I wish ya were never born! YA HEAR!?" At this moment I had squirmed off of the floor faster than a bolt of lightning and I had that drunkard on his back staring up at me as I buried my fists into his nose repeatedly; my fists dying red, bruising with the collisions. He yelled and squealed as I shattered his nose and grinded it beneath my fingers. A silent white rage rung in my ears, until I couldn't hear myself cursing and crying anymore. Taking the smashed bottle in my slick and bloodied palms I thrust the sharp points upon my father's forearm; popping the veins and arteries like bubbles, the red spattering my face as rain did. He lost the power of his arms and legs as I plunged my weapon against his tendons and bones, feeling them ping like rubber bands. I watched his face morph quickly between resentment, anguish and complete and utter terror… but soon enough I couldn't distinguish his facial expressions anymore. I froze. The bottle slipping from my hands; dripping with thick red liquid, it squelched and oozed between my fingers as I clenched my fists. My father was dead. Very much so… even now I remember clearly how his face appeared as mashed tomatoes, raspberry jam and wine. Shredded flesh like bacon bits scattered within the growing pool of blood which drenched my clothes. I was bathed in the colour red. This man could be anyone… or anything to the coroners. I looked down at my hands, bruised and deep red; the delightful liquid tickled as it trickled down my arms and dropped from the tip of my elbow. I stared down at myself in horror… until something crept across my face; a smile, I laughed… and laughed… and laughed wildly at the deformed carcass of my abusive father beneath me, "LOOK WHO'S UGLY NOW FATHER! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" I screamed in laughter and clutched my sides. I stood up and stopped laughing almost instantly. Staring down at the mash I wobbled and my stomach wrenched. I leant on our table and clutched my stomach tightly. I felt sick. It hit me like a brick. What had I done… I mutilated a human being… I WAS a murderer. It no longer felt warm and fuzzy inside my chest, nor did it burn with rage; I trembled and fell to the floor and held my head in my hands sobbing uncontrollably, I actually KILLED someone… even worse I mashed their face like tomatoes. I had to run.

Gathering all the money and things of worth I hijacked my dead fathers boat and sailed to the homeland; to where I had never been… to where no one would be able to identify my face or name, to where I was invisible again. I worked on bigger boats before so this dinghy was nothing difficult to handle on my own. When I docked in the homeland I was greeted with sights, sounds and smells which were all foreign to me… it was exciting. Loosely tying my boat to a dock I leapt off the ship and headed straight for the markets. Stone streets instead of sand and dirt felt harsh beneath my thin soled shoes and gave me sore feet easily and what I regarded as clean in my homes was nowhere near as what these foreign locals regarded as clean… so what if there was a little bit of blood and wine stains on my shirt? I say "If you can't smell it it's not there." Everything was so… expensive. No stalls would take any of the coins I had to offer, only the jewels; and I didn't have many left. Hungry, thirsty and apparently filthy I wandered into what I thought was a hostel for travellers… I meandered in and a beautiful woman with huge breasts dressed in what seemed like a blue corset rushed towards me, "Hello darling! What brings you to our palace hmm?" She knelt down to me and stroked my hair. No one had ever stroked my hair before… it felt nice. Words failed me as I relaxed into the soft touch of her palms, "are you tired sweetheart?" I nodded softly and she smiled, "of course… girls!" She called over to a group of females dressed in very…very thin silk who turned, "we have a young man here who needs to tender loving care!" they all giggled and I watched in awe as these beautiful women strolled over to me. The woman stopped stroking my head and introduced each girl smiling, "This is Bella, she makes the best waffles in town. This is Natalia… she's into a little more rough stuff. This is Mei, she's foreign too! And I am Katyusha! But you can call me Kat, or Kitty!" She winked and I blushed. The girls stood there for a while and waited, "come on dear? Who would you like?" I blinked hard. What? What exactly was she trying to get me to do? Was I meant to choose a lady to buy? I had no more jewels left and I didn't want to purchase anything here! I would have made even more of a fool of myself in front of these women if a strange man hadn't pulled me out.

"Oi! Felix! Qué estás haciendo aquí!?" I only spoke my native language, the common tongue, pirate and drunkard! So what on earth was this strange tongue? I gave the soldier and blank stare, he exhaled exasperatedly, "Si Sir Ludwig o Lady Kiku usted ve aquí, estoy seguro que van a tener la cabeza!" I understood none of this strange man's speech. All I knew was his comic facial expressions and glittering eyes… what a beautiful dialect he had too. I was mesmerized and frozen. The man looked up to the woman who had taken care of me, "what exactly are you playing at here Kat? You know Felix isn't meant to be in here!" She raised an eyebrow at the man.

"Felix? This isn't Felix dear! Can't you see?" Who was Felix!? I had clearly been mistaken for someone else.

"No I think you must be a bit tired or something… adios Kat!" And with that the man guided me out onto the streets, firmly closing the door behind us, "Estás loco! Qué está mal con usted?" Now my mind was clear of female distractions I could decide which language he spoke in. It was one of languages from over the ocean; this man was a foreigner like me, but he kep blabbing on and it was giving me a headache.

"Cut it out you babbling bastard! You're giving me a headache!" I snarled and held my ears. He stopped. Cut himself short. He stared… at me… with huge eyes. His gaze dropped to the floor and he remained silent for a moment before whispering something inaudible, "what?" He looked up with a slight twinge of annoyance.

"I apologise! Sir!" I raised a brow, "but as Sir Ludwig said himself, I cannot allow you to go wandering around without any personal protection! It is against his laws and my morals! If you were to get hurt it would be on my head! You know that!" I stared at him blankly again, losing myself in his aggravated kindness… so much affection had been shown to me today, it was so hard to soak up. Whoever this Felix guy was he was lucky…so god damn lucky, "are you listening to me!?" I woke up from a day dream and realised how furious this guy was, "god what IS wrong with you today! You're acting so strange! Has something happened?" Being me I had to find an excuse and fast before I was found out, "Felix? What happened mi amigo?" I clicked and quickly snapped my hand to my injured ear.

"I don't remember very well…. The only thing I remember doing was seeing some shells down on the rocks at the port… I can't remember who they were for... yeah, so I went down and slipped on the rocks and… I don't remember anything else… sorry. I woke up dressed like this inside this house here… I think the lady inside rescued me," by the time I was finished the man had turned paler than a sheet, "so… who am I exactly?" The man fell to his knees and bowed his head.

"Sir Feliciano Vargas Jack of Hearts and favoured by his Highness Sir Ludwig Beilschmidt! I submit my deepest apologies and ask for only a fraction of what mercy you have to offer me!" I was almost as shocked as he was. Sir Feliciano Vargas? So this is who I was mistaken for! Luckily enough I had no need to play the part of this Feliciano because now this Jack of Hearts had suffered a coma and mild amnesia, "I judged you wrongly and I pray that you would have me live! I beg you!" I stared down at him in amazement… until something crept across my face; a smile, I laughed… and laughed… and laughed wildly at the trembling wreck beneath me.

"Get up you blathering bastard! Hahaha" I continued to laugh as the man on the ground peered upwards at me like a guilty pale puppy. He looked perplexed at my reaction. I clutched my sides and he stood up, I stopped laughing almost instantly. Staring at the ground again the image of my father's body flashed before my eyes. I exclaimed and my stomach wrenched. I fell onto this man who clutched me to his broad chest as I gripped my stomach tightly. I felt sick. It continued to hit me like a thousand wasps running riot in my skull.

"Felix! What's wrong!?" he held my head into his chest as I wobbled wildly in his embrace.

"Y-you're free of any charges you might gain! Just t-take me home!"

Of course I had no home at that time; no real home, I could never return to any of my three homes over the ocean… if I ever did that I would be instantly condemned to death on site. I had no choice but to stay and mimic this Feliciano Vargas until I could find a way to escape this area and find a job to support my own life; but something told me I wouldn't be leaving this place for a while yet…

The man cradled me in his arms as I pressed my wet cheeks against his white shirt and red velvet coat; the fabric was so soft against my skin, softer than I remember anything to have been. His heart pounded against my injured ear… it was soothing, as if the soft thumping was dispelling those images of my mashed martyr from my mind; soft and reassuring, I fell asleep to the sights, sounds and smells which were all foreign to me… it was comforting. I drifted off on the feel of his breath tousling my thick greasy hair.

When I fell asleep I felt myself falling. I was falling further and further into a black abyss; I couldn't see nor hear, when I tried to call out for help no voice escaped my lips. Suddenly I slumped onto a wooden floor and all my vision was returned to me with a sharp stinging sensation. I covered my eyeballs and tried to call out as they burned as glowing embers had been sprinkled into them. Blinking wildly I struggled to recognise my location through blurred vision; wooden planks prickled beneath my fingers, my fingers which were wet… and dripping. I looked down and discovered the growing pool of red oozing towards my knees and bathing my fingers, I looked at the source of the bleeding and recoiled as I saw a pair of big piss yellow eyes staring back at me. I covered my mouth and scrambled backwards on my bottom as far away from the mess as I could; accidentally tasting the sweet red wine on my lips, I pulled my hand away from my mouth and panted shallowly, it would stop staring. A mutilated me… watched as I trembled like a leaf. Large yellow eyes gazing blankly into my soul as the red liquid started seeping up my arms as legs, covering me in my beloved hue. The carcass suddenly moved. Then it moved again… it appeared to be chuckling to itself. It pushed itself up out of the blood; fragments of flesh and bone slopping into the pool as it rose onto its torn legs, it laughed even more at the sight of my pure terror. Raw red flesh reached out for something which simply added to the horror of this scene. I flinched and was frozen to the floor with fear… as a bloodied beer bottle glinted in the cold light. The mutilated me chuckled and licked the shards of glass, "remember this Lovino?" He cackled and started to hobble in my direction. I laughed wildly at myself; so hard that my cheeks started to hurt. I looked down at my arms and legs… flesh was peeling off my bones like crackling paint. My throat scorched with futile attempts to cry out for help but still no sound was uttered, not even a whimper. Nothing. It hurt. The pain was almost unbearable… when he launched himself upon me with the bottle in hand… plunging the glass into my face repeatedly; I felt my bones crush like glass shattering, my veins and tendons pop and ping like rubber bands… rippling beneath my skin which tore and shredded as I dragged the glass across my face, ripping the muscle tissue off my cheeks slowly. It was excruciating. Terrifying. Real. Everything grew cold as I lay torn into small fragments beneath myself… who appeared unharmed all of a sudden. He flicked my hair out of my piss yellow eyes and grinned down at me, "I LOVE the colour red…" he chuckled. Suddenly his face became so serious. He screwed up my face and screamed, "MURDERER!" I choked.

"MURDERER!"

I woke up. Throwing myself forward I screamed, "MURDERER!" sweat glistened off my thin arms and dripped from my forehead. I panted heavily. I gripped the soft sheets deep in my sweaty palms. I looked down, "what…where?" I was in a large double bed adorned with red and gold hearts and red velvet pillows. I looked around at the room which contained objects of crystal, gold and silver. I turned to my left and saw a large window extending from floor to the ceiling of the huge room; leaping out of the covers I pressed my hands up against the glass and gazed across the whole city and ocean, I could see the ports quite clearly from where I stood and the sea for miles. My breath fogged up the frosty window from morning chill. I stepped back slowly attempting to soak everything in. I was in a castle, "this must be Feliciano Vargas' bedroom… considering I am now playing the part of Feliciano Vargas" I ran a hand through my hair as I thought, "then who the hell was that guy who took me away from Katyusha and brought me here?"

A click sounded from behind me. I turned my head to see if he had come back. I choked.

I was looking in a mirror.

But it couldn't be, we were wearing different clothes. I had no shirt and dirtied beige work trousers… he was wearing fine red garments with a maroon shirt and black bow. His white socks bore two red hearts. Suddenly I realised who this was standing in front of me. The colour drained from his face and spilled out onto the floor. We stood for a moment in silence. I could see his hand twitching… he wouldn't…

"Antonio!" he called uneasily shifting; but not dashing like I was, "Ah!" I cleared the bed in one leap and tackled him to the ground covering his mouth with both hands; he struggled beneath my weight, but I was heavier it seemed as he gave up and just lay on the floor.

"Please! Before you go and blab to anyone just let me explain myself!" my doppelganger beneath me nodded frailly, wide-eyed and white with surprise. Reluctantly I took my hands away from his mouth and he took a deep breath in to calm himself and cease his building tears. I sighed too, "this is going to sound real weird okay? But… just bear with me…" so I told Feliciano Vargas my life story; about my mother's death at my birth, how my father abused me all my life and my three homes and boats and pirates… but I left one part out.

"So… your horrid father… how did he?"

"Alcohol poisoning. Too much beer and stuff… he wandered out of the bar and into the ocean… yeah he drowned as well"

"Oh gosh! That's horrible!"

"No. Not really. He was a smelly old bastard and I'm glad he's dead" Feliciano and I had moved to sit on the bed and talk by now. It was strange… he was so calm and forgiving. He did not question any of my actions or opinions and I felt a strange connection with him; as if I had known him before or something, we would become very fast friends I felt… and not just because we were pretty much identical, "what about your parents?"

"My mother also died at birth… I was born over the ocean as well! I don't remember any of it though. I was too young. My father… well I don't remember much of him either, but people say that my father was the King of the country where I came from! They say he ruled like a god! He had lots of exotic wine and had banquets every night… he had a fleet of ships and ruled the pirates too! I wish I knew him… but they say I was stolen from him and taken to this country by a traitor who was killed. My father died of heartbreak... but that's when Luddy's family took me in! Raised me as I would have been raised in my own castle!" Feliciano turned to the window and smiled against the warm sun rays, "I owe Ludwig my life really… I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for him…" I looked at him. Watched him carefully… the way he smiled and the way his voice sounded. Pink sprinkled his cheeks like icing sugar; he felt true happiness in his heart, and I was jealous… born and raised as royalty.

"I don't remember there ever being a king where I come from" I mumbled to myself.

"What was that?"

"Nothing… so you're the Jack right? You must be able to speak different languages then yeah?" Feliciano nodded, "how many?"

"All the official languages! Common tongue, Oriental, the three Mediterranean languages, Sign language, Braille, all the Germanic ones of course! And then theres-"

"Okay I get it."

"What do you speak?"

"Nothing impressive… Common tongue, Mediterranean, Pirate and Drunkard"

"Pirate and drunkard? How strange… so native tongue?"

"Mediterranean. La mia lingua madre è l'isola principale, sopra il mare. Distinti? (My native tongue is from the main island over the sea. Yours?)" I gestured to Felix who appeared thrilled.

"Anche il mio! Ci devono essere nati sulla stessa isola! (Mine too! We must have been born on the same island!)" I shifted on the bed uneasily; this was too weird… same face, same native tongue, same family issues almost. We really were almost identical, "listen… uhh... what was your name?"

"Lovino. Lovino Sagrav" the last name of my father tasted like shit tumbling off my tongue.

"Lovino! From this day forth you are my brother! Lovino Vargas!" my breathing hitched and I simply stared at this person. Does he have the power to give me a new name? "you say you can never return to your home because they believe you are a criminal?"

"Yes. I wouldn't be surprised if someone came looking for me… a new name wouldn't help me if they saw me out on the street. I have to hide… to get away-"

"No! You will stay here! I have a better idea…" I raised an eyebrow, Feliciano had something cheeky in his eye and it was worrying. Increasingly worrying. At that moment I watched as my clone hopped off the bed and began to undress himself before me. I yelped and shielded my eyes as the pants came off swiftly, "here!" He threw me all his clothes. I stared up at him in disbelief, "come on! Get changed before someone comes in!" Ignoring Feliciano standing bare in all his glory I began to dress myself in the Jack's attire. So when I was finished I looked in the mirror; a real mirror, and I swear to god it was not real. I no longer saw Lovino Sagrav… or Lovino Vargas; all I saw was Feliciano Vargas, Jack of Hearts.

"Mio… dio…" the only slight difference was that my eyes were more yellow than gold like Feliciano's eyes, and my hair was a darker brown than his. Other than that we were identical.

"It's decided" Feliciano grinned behind me in the mirror.

And from that day forth I was known as Feliciano Vargas on most days. When Feliciano wanted to take a longer siesta or wasn't feeling well I took his place in court and no one noticed… not even his beloved King Ludwig of Hearts. It were as if Lovino Vargas' existence had never occurred. I really was _invisible…_ and that was what I wanted right? I _wanted_ to be _invisible_ right? Perhaps I was wrong… perhaps I was always wrong.

I am Jack.

I am Felix.

I am Lovi.

I am brother.

I am friend.

I am lover.

I am murderer.

I am disgraceful.

I am Lovino Vargas… and I am _invisible…_

_..for now._


	2. Hearts - Part 2

For those of you who only want **Spamano fluff** you should read:

**_Hearts Part2, Part3 and Part4._**

If you want your **hearts ripped out** read the _**whole thing** _:)

_ENJOY._

* * *

**Princes of the Universe**

**:Book 4 –**_**Hearts:**_

_- Part 2 –_

There have been many things I've learnt about royalty in the time I have spent imitating it. One thing is that royals overcomplicate things all the time… one day I was reading out the local news to the apparently terrifying King Ludwig of Hearts and Kiku Queen of Hearts. Kiku is envied by all women who have seen her face; flawless porcelain complexion like that of a doll, soft raven coloured hair cropped below the chin to further define her sharp jawline. Her eyes were a deep brown like a rich old oak; filled with elderly wisdom. Funny thing is… Kiku is a man. The Queen of Hearts is in fact a male. Where I came from cross-dressers and trans-genders were accepted openly… here it turns out it's not. I discovered through Feliciano who discovered through Ludwig that Kiku was a male. The story goes like this: Kiku was extremely unhappy in his home country as he was forced to work as a geisha by his relatives in order to earn his family money… the gross things that people did to him as a geisha I won't say… that's his choice to tell I reckon. Ludwig was on an expedition once with his family across the ocean to gather knowledge of the Oriental lands over the sea. Ludwig went for a walk without his family one evening and he stumbled upon Kiku Honda sitting on the wall of his home staring up at the sunset; his face flawed with minor scratches and bruising. Feliciano says Ludwig sat with him on the wall for a while and they spoke of their lives and past experiences… they say Ludwig was seriously moved by his horrific life regardless of his incredible intellect of the world; so like Feliciano their family took him in as their own, Kiku travelled back to the main land with Ludwig as his Queen… they wouldn't allow male fugitives across the ocean to reproduce and spread their genes all over the mainland, yet they allowed Kiku disguised as a geisha across the ocean. The only reason Kiku is permitted to live on the mainland is because everyone is led to believe he is a woman. If anyone besides the High Court of Hearts; that is Feliciano (a.k.a ME), Antonio or Ludwig found out and snitched to the officials in the Oriental land there is nothing we could do to save Kiku from being deported.

Anyway… I was reading the local news to the High Court; as Feliciano was in bed with a terrible head cold, and Ludwig started remarking on the Kingdom Clubs increased security and lowered tax rate saying, "they are preparing for something… perhaps they intend to strike this Capital and if we recoil their attack they'd already be strong in security thus causing us to withdraw and appear as cowards or weaklings to the rest of the world! Meaning they would refrain from voting us as Capital once more and stealing it for themselves, causing citizens to migrate cross country and supplies to change routes to Clubs Kingdom ports and our economy to crumble and dissolving our Kingdom! How dare they!" this particular King is one of the most skilled people in creating false assumptions out of fear. At which point Kiku will stop Ludwig mid-rage and say something like…

"But do not forget that with the lowering of taxes Clubs will lose much of their income there to support their decision of increased security… where would the money come from? Nowhere. So if you think about it they are decreasing their own economy by wasting all their money on security they don't need and creating anaemic funds to support their Kingdom… if they continue to use their funds and lower their taxes eventually the Kingdom will become broke. When they are broke then their own economy will crumble beneath their feet causing Clubs citizens to migrate here instead, giving us a higher population, busier ports and more taxes collected. Only we will benefit from this decision." Did I ever mention that I had never seen a more skilled bullshitter to turn situations around into what you want to hear, and Kiku knows it. That is the first thing I have learnt about royalty… the second thing is that they really are as stuck up as the pirates say they are. Never before have I seen a human get so aggravated over over-cooked steak. King Ludwig is quite terrifying when he gets angry… I have never seen him get fully angry but I have heard him do it. I was sleeping alone one night and Feliciano was giving Ludwig a "visit" to see if he was okay; earlier that day Ludwig had been told that his father was killed in the middle of the night and he was furious, Feliciano went to comfort him as a close-friend would do… it was scary. Ludwig's room was on the other side of the castle and I could hear his yells and curses… Felix came back to the room that night pale faced and silent. I tried to comfort him but he refused to speak. Felix is so good to Ludwig; as a Jack and as a friend, and yet only I can see that Felix is infatuated with the King. Some of them are stuck so far up their asses that they don't see the love, affection and good things in their life. Like Ludwig.

The third thing… although I refuse to admit it; is that they can be extremely smart with whom they make friends. For example the High Court members. Kiku Honda; Queen of Hearts, is revered by all women for his beauty and also has a unique way of thinking that attracts good fortune, money and luck to the Kingdom, he also has an immense knowledge of all the countries and their specialties economically and tactically. Feliciano Vargas; Jack of Hearts, not only does this young man have a cute complexion… he was also rumoured to be the son of the King of Mediterranean lands, a Prince. Having a Prince of a foreign land gives the King of that court the upper hand in translating foreign languages, converting foreign currencies into accurate worth and also the fact that he is revered in his homeland. Gilbert; the one and only Joker, there is only one Joker in the whole world at a time they say… and this Joker is born knowing it is a Joker and that it has the upper hand in all situations – know why? It has a silver tongue. The Joker's power is that it can persuade anyone to do anything without them noticing he's doing it. A Joker is the biggest asset a court can have due to his silver-tongued abilities; Ludwig knew who the Joker was right from the moment he was born apparently and he began to search for the Joker and offer him a place in his High Court as long as he was loyal to the King and that is all… of course Gilbert accepted, and has been living the high life since that moment. The last to be mentioned is Antonio Hernandez Carriedo; Knight of Hearts, Ludwig has a kind heart for those who are unique and those who have been wounded in one way or another… no one knows a lot about Antonio; except that he is also from a foreign country and is the most handsome man in all of Hearts (due to ladies popular belief), I have heard many things about Antonio's past… rumours litter the castle like stars litter the night sky. He's an assassin they say... he went rogue on his last employer they say… they say he was a slave to the tyrants overseas and was whipped and tortured into madness until Ludwig broke his chains and rescued him they say… they also say that he climbs into the bedrooms of exceptionally beautiful women and makes sweet passionate love to them before leaving them hot and heavy by leaping back out their windows never to be seen again… I believe all of these rumours are complete bull shit. Especially the lovemaking one. I had thought to myself, "I suppose I'll never know exactly who he is…" but that's back when I was twelve… a long time ago. Seven years to be precise. Antonio was fifteen back then when I was pulled out from the brothel by his kind hand.

So I spent seven years as Feliciano Vargas in court and castle, Lovino Vargas in bedroom and brothel… and Lovino Sagrav in nightmares or never. That cursed name Sagrav became moulded into the deepest darkest corner of my nightmares.

Only two people knew me as Lovino Vargas, those closest to my heart… Feliciano mio fratello; my brother, I owe him my life. When nightmares feed on my happiness Feliciano is there next to me stroking my head and muttering calming words from our native language… I scream and yell and tremble and laugh wildly at his side as he mutters softly beneath his breath, "Silenzio ora mio fratello ... è solo un sogno, i tuoi incubi saranno Non versare mai in realtà. Tutto questo dolore nella vostra mente è surreale, è tutto un sogno, te lo prometto. Ti canterò una ninna nanna, se ti fa sentire meno dolore ... Voglio cantare per te fino a quando non senti dolore ... (Hush now my brother... it is only a dream, your nightmares will never spill into reality. All this pain in your mind is surreal, it's all a dream I promise. I'll sing you a lullaby if it makes you feel less pain... I'll sing it to you until you feel no pain...)" Feliciano is stronger than anyone I've ever known in my life, he has a glowing heart of gold which emanates optimism in the bleakest hour. But I am despicable… I am a filthy liar. I didn't have the heart to tell my little brother the truth behind these lucid dreams… the truth behind the bloodcurdling shrieks at midnight, the mixture of sweat and tears… the scars on my body.

The other who knows me as Lovino Vargas is the kind and graceful Katyusha Braginski; founder and owner of the very popular 'Jar of Hearts' brothel in town, although the brothel is seen as a dirty place filled with dirty women with dirty minds… it turns out they are all genuinely lovely ladies. Especially Kat. If I have free time or I've been having a rough night I would throw a cloak over my head to disguise my face and head to the brothel to spend time with Kat and her girls; Bella, Natalia and Mei and they are all very sweet young women. Each have their own personal reasons for working at the brothel: Natalia is Kat's little sister and she claims to work there to support her big sister… but really it's so she might have the chance to meet her big brother Ivan again. The name Ivan Braginsky sounded familiar to me, but I couldn't care less. Mei worked there to hide in the mainland and make money for her poor family over in the Oriental lands. Bella worked here because she was best friends with Katyusha and because she had a husband and family to feed, her husband sailed on ships a lot so he was away… but he brought her customers which made their family good money to live, so they both made an agreement that it was for the children. Katyusha however… she founded the brothel here because of her heart; hence the name 'Jar of Hearts'. She once fell in love with a soldier here in this city when she was a little girl; he was everything she ever wanted, strong, handsome, kind and he loved her like everyman should love his wife. Kat had to leave one day due to an attack on the city and the man she loved had to fight. He died protecting a brothel full of women and children. Everyone in the brothel was slaughtered too, "when I found out he was killed I was devastated… but you see Lovino sweetheart…" she held my face in her soft palm and smiled sweetly at me, "I had a whole life waiting for me… a new opportunity to create hope! To create life! So I used my last funds to rebuild this brothel and make it my own – in memory of the man who died protecting the women who constantly gave affection and love to those who needed it most…" I was in awe at this woman. Although she lost the love of her life she continued to give and give and give to help others… and eventually it all came back to support her, "after that my sister and my best friend joined me in my pursuits! Then we took Mei in from the docks and fed her and took care of her… I don't regret anything in my life. That is what makes me so happy darling" she giggled and offered me a cup of wine… which I took very willingly with tears prickling at the edges of my eyes. When I would leave all the girls would see me off. Standing at the door like goddesses fare welling a soul from the golden gates of heaven. Kat would tie my cloak back on for me and kiss me on the forehead, "now…you come back soon okay?" I'd nod feverishly and thank her for her continued kindness in her own native language which she started teaching me.

"Spasibo Katyusha , ya obeshchayu, chtoby uvidet' vas v blizhaysheye vremya. (Thank you Katyusha, I promise to see you soon.)" She says I'm a natural linguist. Which makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside my chest… where it once burnt with hatred.

"Khorosho prodayutsya dorogiye Lovino (Fare well dear Lovino)!" Then all the girls would give me a hug, "maybe… when you're older and not so short you could be a customer!" She would tilt her head to the side causing her short blonde hair to drape away from her eyes. Then my face would heat up and turn a bright glowing red.

"Hey whaddya mean OLDER and NOT SO SHORT! I'm no pipsqueak you hear! I'm a healthy AVERAGE height young man! You hear!? YOUNG MAN! I'm SIXTEEN YEARS OLD! I could be a customer if I WANTED to be thank you very much! I must be going because I have BIG and IMPORTANT things to do! So ARRIVEDERCI, DO SVIDANIYA and a big GOOD DAY TO YOU LADIES!" I'd storm off red-faced with giggles and squeals of delight trailing behind me as an addition to my cloak.

I thought my life was great as it was… I had good food, great company, a growing knowledge and I had everything I ever wanted. But all that changed when I was nineteen years of age. As I grew older something started to grow inside of me… a heavy darkness that filled my chest and made it increasingly difficult to breathe. An emptiness which resonated with small dull pangs of pain occasionally... Feliciano spent more and more time as himself in the High Court; reading notices, translating and getting exceptionally close to the King. By exceptionally close I mean actually sitting on his lap while he is sitting on the throne. When I see Felix nowadays I always want to ask him what in the bloody hell does he think he's doing!? Not only does that make him look like a friggin child! It also makes MY job a lot more damn awkward! We are NINETEEN. Fully grown MEN! Plus I'm sure as hell Ludwig is a lot older than Felix. Actually I KNOW for a fact that Ludwig was always older than us! We're nineteen and he's…what… twenty four? FIVE YEARS. I think that passes the line as being paedophilic. And what the hell does Ludwig think he's doing anyway!? How can he be okay with Felix sitting upon his lap as if he were Santa Claus… but how he strokes Felix's hair like an obedient little lap dog is what infuriates me the most. We are not animals. We are not pets. We are human beings! And we should all be treated equally! I would have been perfectly fine with it had it been in private OR even if it was just in front of the High Court and High Court alone. But he'd be damned and burnt in hell with Satan scalding him if I ever had to sit on his lap EVER. I refuse to be petted by that blonde bastard. But as Felix got closer to the King; I started to become further and further away from my fratello. Sitting in silence on OUR bed in OUR room staring out OUR window and the town I could never fully explore… because we are one. I am you, you are me… and we are everything alike.

At that time it had been almost weeks since I ventured outside of our room. I was going mad. Nightmares became a regular occurrence… and as they did they became more and more lucid. Writhing beneath the covers of my bed I would cry for Feliciano or Katyusha to come and rescue me; but no such thing happened, I was alone… with me… myself… and my father.

"whadda pussy! You ain't no son o' mine! Ugly face and piss yellow eyes! Hah!" words slunk through the empty crevices of my mind; slyly seeping like blood through cracks in a wooden floor, crawling closer. I slapped my hands over my ears and curled over where I stood.

"No… uscire ... zitto! (Get out… shut up!)"

"y'know what boy? Ah reckon that I'd be rich without ya! Swimmin' in gold! Not piss like yer eyes! Yer mother was a whore anyway…" I collapsed to my knees and pressed my forehead to the ground.

"Mia madre era bellissima! E gentile! Come Katyusha! Zitto zitto zitto!( My mother was beautiful! And kind! Like Katyusha! Shut up shut up shut up!)" No matter how much of my native language I spoke; it would never calm me as when Feliciano did it, or how Kat spoke in her native tongue… I was trapped within a labyrinth of my own mind… my own suffering.

"Not worth my time or cash… what do I get in return? Dinner, average sex… and you! Ah mistake! I wish ya were never born!" I shook my head against the carpet burning my forehead on the rough material, my chest heaved in excruciating pain and I clenched my fists in my hair… pulling hard; trying to get rid of this phantom voice which seared through reality like a needle.

"No. .. non dirlo ... NON DIRLO!(No… don't say it… DON'T SAY IT!)"

"YER A MURDERER LOVINO! A MURDERER!" I screamed at the images appearing before me; like photographs in an album that I have no choice but to look through. My voice becoming hoarse and grainy as I yelled.

"I AM NOT A MURDERER!" I cried… and cried… the tears burned my face like molten lava and they flowed through every nook and cranny in my face, dripping from the tip of my nose onto the carpet beneath me. The muscles in my face became fatigued from the stress of wailing; there were no more tears left to cry, so I collapsed in a heap on the floor and closed my eyes for a moment, "I'm… not a murderer…" I whispered into the carpet; as if the carpet cared what I had to say, "… you killed me long before I killed you…"

"murderer…" the voice inside my head muttered; as if someone was laying alongside me, I turned my head wearily and recoiled instantly uttering a yelp. My father grinned back at me through rotting teeth and bare bone, "Lovino Sagrav is a killer…" I threw myself into my bed and buried myself under the covers, clutching them over my head in a desperate struggle to preserve what sanity I had left.

"Vargas! That is my name Lovino Vargas! I am not A FUCKING MURDERER!"

"Lovino?"

"SHUT UP!" I stopped. That wasn't my father's voice, nor my own… nor was it Feliciano's chirpy tone.

"Who's Lovino?"

"I-I…Lov-in..o uh…" I managed to utter between snivels.

"Oh… Lovino is your nickname down at the 'Jar of Hearts'…" I could feel eyes on the lump under the covers which was me; silence was rotting the atmosphere I felt, my heavy breathing beneath the covers was condensing on my face, "…can I come in?" the man was standing in the doorway I think. I moved my head. The door clicked closed. Soft footsteps grew closer to my linen sanctuary. The bed sunk down and creaked on one side where he sat on the bed. I was frozen… trying so hard not to make any audible sounds to break the silence which filled the room like an elephant. My breaths were shaky and hitched… nothing could prevent that. I jumped when he spoke, "why… why are you crying Felix… I've never seen you so unhappy mi amigo" it was then I could definitely tell who was sitting on my bed with me. My face heated up into a glowing red ball, "you can tell me… is it Ludwig? He's being very forward isn't he? Now I know he's the King and your ruler, but don't forget that he is your best friend… and best friends will listen is you ask them to. He's under a lot of pressure tha-"

"It's not fucking Ludwig" I snapped. A long gap of silence filled the following moments before he started talking again.

"I'm just… trying to help. That's all" He sighed. Downwards inflection… soft tone and lowered dialect… I knew exactly what his face would appear like at that moment. There was one thing I forgot to mention when I spoke of those in the High Court. Antonio Hernandez Carriedo; Knight of Hearts, who stole my heart… that sounds so gay. What I mean to say is… I loved him. I couldn't explain what it was that riddled my stomach with butterflies every moment I entered High Court as Feliciano; but looking back on it now I completely understand, I was crushed by the Knight in shining armour. But this idiotic infatuation only injured me further… as I could never love him; not as Feliciano, who was apparently attracted to the King according to what Antonio had said. I could never love him as Lovino; either Sagrav OR Vargas, one was a murderer and the other was invisible. I had already sentenced to a life of loneliness and solitude. There was nothing I could do love him- or even tell him how I felt. I could never tell him about how I loved the way his white armour looked when he wore it in High Court; it always made his skin and hair appear extra sweet and chocolaty, when he works in the library the funny way his face screwed up and his tongue poked out when he concentrated hard enough… the way his smile outshone the sun, the way his hair curled softly around the back of his neck, the way his eyes would glitter as deep richly coloured emeralds… and when he spoke, the way his voice would fill my chest with an indescribable warmth… like mulled wine. He would never know. He would never know how his mere presence would dispel all my darkest fears. He would never know how much I loved him…. Because I was Feliciano in his eyes; not Lovino, never Lovino.

"I…I know. I'm sorry" I snivelled. He peeled the sheets away from my sweaty palms. Light spilled into my sanctuary and I flinched at the sudden burst of light. I warily turned my head out of the soft mattress to look at his face. His eyebrows were softly raised and his lips were curled into what seemed to be an affectionate look …and I might be wrong… but I swear I saw a sprinkle of blush dust across his cheeks. I was immobilized, my bones refused to work, "you look a right mess mi gato tonto…" he sighed and smiled down at me. Before I could register what he was doing he pressed his huge hands against my cheeks and rubbed his thumbs across my glowing face. His hands were so warm and slightly worn from intensive melee training; to me they felt far more supple than velvet or silk, far more tender than Felix and Katyusha's hands combined… the hairs on the back of my neck prickled with an unspeakable chill, "you look like a tomato Felix! Ahaha!" how I could have injured that man right then; torn the fingers from his hands and stuck them up his nose for saying such a thing, yet I couldn't bring myself to feel any of this fury. I clenched my jaw and tore my gaze away from his in flustered humiliation.

"Stop it." I grumbled into the palms of his hands, turning a deeper shade of red still. He chuckled,

"you're a lot funnier now… you know that?" what did he mean by this? Did my embarrassment amuse him? Sick bastard… I shot him a deathly look.

"What do you mean."

"I mean… remember when you first suffered your amnesia Felix? The day when you went to collect shells and slipped and hit your head?" he lifted a hand of my face and took the little torn bit of my ear between his thumb and forefinger, "when you got this?" I wish I could tell him… I wish I could have told him everything! But I couldn't risk being thrown into jail or even worse… having Antonio hate me.

"Yeah. What of it?" He looked intrigued by the chip out of my ear, running his fingers over it and feeling the texture… it felt weird… and nice.

"Before then… you were always so intent with your job, enthusiastic about pleasing everyone but yourself. The only jokes you made were to please the King... I never got them. To be brutally honest Felix… I didn't care much for you really… it's strange…" he suddenly became really serious, it was scary. All the childish joy in his face dropped and he locked eyes with me, "when I pulled you out of the brothel that day out of good intention I assure you… but… you had this incredible presence about you. As if the whole world… well, revolved around you and only you" the butterflies in my stomach let loose once more, wildly fluttering up my stomach and into my chest… I could hardly bear it, "and forgive me if I'm wrong! But I swear your hair is far more rich than before then… and your eyes…" he stopped, as if he had lost the ability to speak, "y-your eyes….are…" his speech slowed until it reached to a perfect stop. He stared at me. I stared at him. We stared at each other. It seemed like we were a weakness to one another; I gave him as much strength as spaghetti, and he made me as forceless and a child. I could have lived my entire life in that moment… alone with him. My heart resounded like a huge drum and the colours around him blurred like a watercolour painting. I was living in slow motion. It was… perfect.

He blinked hard twice and shook his head, "Oh uh sorry… I was just thinking of something Ahaha!" ABOUT WHAT YOU BLATHERING BASTARD! He leant in and pressed his lips to the crown on my head. My heart ceased to beat. MY face was now the reddest of red. He just laughed, "oh you really are funny Felix!" Then I remembered. He didn't love _me_. He loved Felix. Everyone loved Felix.

Then I realised what he was wearing, "why aren't you wearing your High Court clothing Antonio? You look like a normal person"

"Oh! Yeah… the reason I came, right I almost forgot!" He wore a rough cotton shirt which exposed part of his broad chest and darker trousers which were dirtied and patched together in a few places, "this is what I wore when I arrived at this place… these clothes are actually what normal citizens wear far over the ocean in the Mediterranean lands! They're really comfy I think…" No shit. He looked so smug with himself. He pushed himself off the bed and rubbed the back of his neck, "well… I came here dressed like this because… well we need to go into town… there's a problem…"

"What is it… and why does it regard me?" He exhaled sharply.

"It's Katyusha…" my heart dropped into my hollow stomach,

"… _she's dying."_

* * *

**If you didn't get it in the first chapter:**

_**Natalia = Belarus**_

_**Bella = Belguim **_

_**Mei = Taiwan**_

_**Katyusha = Ukraine**_


	3. Hearts - Part 3

For those of you who only want **Spamano fluff** you should read:

**_Hearts Part2, Part3 and Part4._**

If you want your **hearts ripped out** read the _**whole thing** _:)

_ENJOY._

* * *

**Princes of the Universe**

**:Book 4 –**_**Hearts:**_

_- Part 3 –_

"KATYUSHA!" Bursting into the 'Jar of Hearts' like a firework I yelled for the only woman in my life who I genuinely cared for. My head spun back and forth, back and forth searching for the blonde goddess with the velvet hands. The main room was empty; white lilies and red roses spilled over every surface and dappling the floor with their petals, I rushed inside with Antonio hot on my heels.

"Slow down! You might break somethi-"

"Go away! Can't you read!? We're closed until further notice!" A furious female came dashing down the stairs armed with a wooden plank of some sort, "get out! Right no- oh!" Her face softened when she saw me, she lowered the plank and uttered a sigh of what seemed to be relief, "Lovino!" she dropped the plank and stumbled over to me as if she were weak. I caught her in a tight hug.

"Bella!" she cried into my shoulder. Her warm breath and tears heating my collarbone; I tried to comfort her by awkwardly patting her head, I'm not sure if it worked or not. She pulled away and wiped her eyes on her wrist.

"I've never been so happy to you Lovino!"

"I heard Kat is dying, please tell me it's not true!" I gripped Bella tightly by the arms and almost shook her a bit. I peered desperately into her eyes; I simply had to know that this was a bad dream and not reality, even Feliciano said my nightmares would never spill into reality… perhaps that was also a lie. She whimpered and gestured wearily up the stairs. I peered up the steps. To be completely honest I was a terrified of what I would find up there. I turned to Antonio who stood arms crossed his chest scowling in the doorway… what was his problem?

"Go up… s-she's desperate to see you sweetie…" I looked back up the stairs and could just comprehend a few voices; all of which I knew, I took one step up before looking back at Antonio who glared at Bella with a frightening intensity.

"Antonio…" he snapped back to me instantly, "ven conmigo… (come with me…)" his expression wavered for a moment before reluctantly stepping further inside the brothel and following me up the steps.

There she was… laying on a bed of lace and velvet surrounded by the other girls. She glistened with a thin layer of sweat and her eyes were bloodshot and hazy like a mist; her usual cheeky glimmer had been extinguished and she was left hanging onto what little light she had left, dangling on the edge of consciousness by three fingers… ready to let go. Her face seemed to have aged twenty years… I had never seen a more hideous shade of grey on a human being before. Her eyes lulled slowly over to my stagnant frame, a delicate smile spread across her cracked lips and her breath hitched, "Lo…vino…" she raised a shaky hand out to me, "I… am so glad you made it… sweet…heart" I couldn't find the power to walk over to this stranger who bore the voice of Katyusha, "please… come closer…" I frowned at the woman who was reduced to nothing more than a white whisper, what on earth happened to her? "don't be afraid… I am still me…" Mei stood from her kneeling position beside her to help me over to her weak friend. My feet refused to leave the floor; they felt heavy and wobbly as I came closer to the woman in bed. I fell onto my knees beside her head and just sat there staring at her… now I was closer I could see how sickly her face had become; huge purple-ish rings surrounded her bulging eyes, her short blonde hair was thick with sweat and grease, her cheeks sunken and colourless. And yet she managed to stretch a smile across her face, like plastic being stretched over a wooden mask. Tears began to fall from her pink eyes as I stared at her in horror, I can't imagine what my facial expression would have looked like… I took her hand in mine and flinched at the icy temperature of her fingers, they hardly felt like her hands at all, "I'm so happy… to see you Lovino…" she turned her head towards the stairs and I could see she was feeling smug that she had lured Antonio into the brothel, he sneered at her in a concentrated disgust, "and you too… Antonio… you fin-finally gave me a… proper visit… after all" he squinted his eyes at her. What in god's name was wrong with him! It was like he had a deep and powerful hatred for this place and all those in it! Seriously contrasting to the kind and romantic Antonio who rescued me from my nightmares not only minutes ago.

Katyusha laughed weakly to herself, "such a bitter fool…" she glanced towards me out of the corner of her eye and muttered something inaudible so that the rageful idiot couldn't hear, "remind… remind me to tell you about the time… Antonio paid me extra… if you know what I mean…" she smirked a little before earning an icy glower from Antonio. Natalia rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Would you like a cup of your favourite wine Lovino? We have it out specially for you…" I looked up at the glass half empty and shook my head. She took it away. How could I drink that at a time such as this!? Sometimes I wondered about these women… I really did.

"What happened to you Kat… you… you look-"

"Hideous! I know… it's nothing… really…I'm fine…" Kat sighed, she was having even more trouble breathing now. Natalia grumbled behind me.

"She has AIDs Lovino. Terminal AIDs" Katyusha gave Natalia the best scowl she could conjure. Natalia shrugged, "I'm only telling the truth. As if he was going to believe you were fine and dandy Kat…" a cynical part of me deep down inside wasn't surprised… prostitutes usually became infected with sexually transmitted diseases if they weren't careful with their business. Katyusha was far too generous for her own good; she gave her money, her time, her love, her virginity and now she's given her life to please others.

"Ty lzhets Kat… (You're a liar Kat…)" I grimaced, catching her attention with her native language, "ty gryaznyy lgun , kak i ya ... i teper' vy umrete (You're a filthy liar just like me… and now you're going to die)"

"Tishe ... YA ne boyus' smerti ... YA privetstvuyu yego vozlyublennoy ... (Hush… I do not fear death… I welcome it sweetheart…)" she held my face in her spindly hands; she stroked my hair away from my eyes which began to fog up, her fingers felt like icicles on my skin. I felt like she was hiding something… she was holding back. She flicked a look to Natalia who nodded and cleared both Bella and Mei down the stairs, "if you don't mind… Antonio… I would like to speak with Lovino…" I looked at Antonio who was snarling fiercely and gripping his arms tightly that I think it was hurting him. He refused to move, "…JUST…Lovino…" not a budge, "…ALONE…" she snorted and stomped off down the stairs. Antonio was always such a child when he was in a bad mood; I'm not going to say I didn't like it when he acted this way… as much as it was extremely annoying and made me want to punch the scowl off his beautiful face, it made him look so rugged and fierce. Any who. It was just me and Katyusha. She sighed and her soft expression dropped; she suddenly appeared natural by dropping the forced smile, she exhaled and locked gazes with me… she looked so dangerous, "Lovino… I want you to do something for me… as the best friend you are to me… like the son I never had…" these kind words corked my throat and I had to swallow the burning tears which gradually built. I nodded, "I don't want you to question my motives… I just want you do carry out my request… it's the very last thing I want in this lifetime…" I was beginning to grow suspicious. Her vocal tone became as icy as her touch.

"Say the word and I promise I will do it…" I held her hand on my cheek.

"Lovino Sagrav" I let go of her hand. She knew me. She knew the real me, "you are a fugitive from the Mediterranean islands given the name Vargas by Feliciano Vargas… I know everything… I've always known…" I couldn't fathom any words. How did she know, how could she have known, "you slaughtered your father seven years ago at the age of twelve… you mutilated his face with a broken beer bottle…" I felt sick, my stomach knotted together and I felt like I was going to vomit. She knew me, "I always know my customers… Lovino, regardless of whether you killed a man or not… you are not a murderer… one kill does not make you a murderer" I couldn't tell if this was a nightmare or reality, it didn't matter… I was being told what I had always wanted to hear. I wasn't a murderer, "even if you were a murderous bastard… nothing would stop me from loving you the same" that was what did it, "I love you Lovino Sagrav… I always have loved you, from the moment you wandered in here idle off the street… I loved you…" tears rolled down her pale cheeks and nestled in the crannies of her complexion. I refused to cry for a woman who was confessing her love for me on her death bed, "that is why…" I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and looked back in her teary red eyes. Without knowing it, she placed something cold and sharp in my hands. I looked at the item, "you must be the one to kill me Lovino…"

I don't remember much after that. The only things I do remember is seeing my own reflection in the knife as I cut open the throat of the woman that loved me… tears spilling down my cheeks and a grin on my face. I trudged down the stairs gripping the knife dripping with blood. Antonio stood in the doorway arms crossed and scowl plastered on face… the knife tinkled as I dropped it onto the floor; he turned his head towards the sound, he saw the knife… the blood… me. I collapsed onto my knees and clenched my fists against the carpet and allowed all my tears to fall. I remember him flustering and fussing over me… speaking fast in that foreign way; asking questions, who, what, where, why, how… all I could hear was Katyusha's last words ringing in my ears as crisp as day, "I love you Lovino Sagrav…" blood stained my hands once again and my father screamed in my ears, "MURDERER!" I screamed and ran out of the brothel clutching my hands to my ears.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Having no idea where I was headed I just ran… anywhere, as fast as my legs could carry me. A mixture of Kat AND my father's voice swathing in my skull; a grotesque blend of sweet and bitter, love and loathing. My legs moved as if I were running on air… it felt fantastic… so free… better than my dreams. So I ran faster and further… pleading that this speed my distance me from these voices which haunted me. Then I tripped. I felt myself being thrown forward… and for a moment I thought I would finally be liberated from this world. I fell through the air… something soft cushioned my fall.

I opened my eyes. I had fallen onto my mattress… Feliciano's mattress. I scrambled onto my back and soaked in my surroundings. I was most indeed in Feliciano's room… how the fuck did I end up here? "FELICIANO VARGAS! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!?" Antonio tumbled into the door and yelled pointing in the general direction of the brothel. He threw the knife Katyusha gave to me across the room with such force that it pronged into the opposite wall, "IF I DON'T GET ANSWERS RIGHT NOW! I SWEAR I'M GOING TO… TO… DO SOMETHING TERRIBLE TO YOU!"

"Ant-antonio I-"

"Toni~! Why are you so angry Toni? Is there something wrong?" I watched as all the colour in the Knight's face drained as he turned to peer into the face of my self-appointed sibling. No one said anything more. He turned back slowly to look at me… then back to Feliciano… then back to me.

"But…wha…how…" he turned to Feliciano, "but you're Felician-" **CLANG!**

Antonio Hernandez Carriedo; Knight of Hearts, lay unconscious on the floor… conquered by a bedside piss dish.

I dropped the dish onto the floor realising what it was and who had used it, it thunked beside Antonio's limp body; his fingers twitched slightly, I took deep gulps of breath to calm myself… but it wasn't calming myself that I should have been concerned about…

"OH MY GOOD HEAVENS WE KILLED HIM!" Feliciano screeched, flustering over him. He was always such a sissy girl... so I gave him a good slap around the back of the skull.

"Of course we haven't killed him you stupid fuck! There's no way two people like us would ever kill a Knight! It was only luck that knocked him out!" He held the back of his head and whimpered like a puppy. I stood staring down at the pile of attractiveness sleeping peacefully on the floor.

"W-well what are we going to do with him?" I exhaled and placed my hands on my hips.

"We can't keep him in the castle... we'll have to move him into a secluded area for now, until we can explain our circumstances to him…"

"OUR circumstances?" He grumbled sarcastically. I shot him a look and he fumbled with his words, "S-so where will we take him?" I knelt down closer to Antonio's face and flicked his hair away from his eyes… he always looked far more content when he slept; far more handsome, I blushed a little.

"I docked my boat down at the ports seven years ago… if I am right it should still be there. I hear harbour masters around this place are lazy with docking times…" I looked up at Feliciano who seemed to be scowling at the fact the harbourmasters were deemed as lazy, "we'll take him to my boat and sail a few miles off shore to explain to him… just so he can't try to escape"

"Don't you think it would look suspicious carrying an unconscious body around AND looking identical?" I snorted and grabbed a cloak from our closet and tossed it to him, he exclaimed as the brown fabric attacked him and covered his head.

"Wear this… people will never notice. As for Antonio…" I scratched my nose as I thought; doing this action always seemed to help ideas come to me one way or another, I looked around the floor anxious that Antonio might wake up sooner than expected, Then it hit me, "aha!"

So we rolled him up inside a carpet, hands tied to be extra sure and carried him down to the docks, "almost there Felix, last one on the left"

"Hold it!" I swallowed my words.

"Shit…" I muttered under my breath as a butch man waddled towards us with a raised eyebrow. He looked foreign and very capable of snapping necks like toothpicks if he so pleased.

"Where yer be head'd with a beaut as that?" He asked Felix who gave me a petrified stare; Felix couldn't speak pirate, so I smugly stepped in.

"Aye… she's a beaut a'ight! We're 'eaded to th' gold'n shores we are!" The man swaggered closer towards me and ran his huge hands alone the rolled carpet slung over my shoulder. I had no idea where the golden shores were, I remember my father speaking of them back when he was alive, and that they were the main destination for sailors and pirates alike.

"Diamonds Kingdom aye?" He peered down at me from the corner of his eye.

"Aye" he leant down so he was face to face with me. His breath stank of whisky and fish; only pirates from the golden shores actually ate the combination of whisky and wine, so this man was a local from the destination we were headed. He sniffed.

"Ye ain't from 'round this land ey… yer a wine blooded man, a Mediterranean pirate" I nodded proudly, he then looked at Feliciano who was pale with fright. The man snorted, "this ain't no wine blood 'ere though… a land dweller through and through!" he looked to me and then back to Feliciano with a peculiar perplexion, "uh… ye look the same though… that's weird…Ah reckon a've seen yer faces before" I gulped hard.

"Half-brother… though ah would teach 'im the way of the wine, y'know?" he released his gaze and laughed heartily at the both of us.

"Ah that's rich that is! Ahah a land dweller learning the wine way! That's funny… reminds me of a lad out in golden shores. A fine lad! Land dweller with a heart for the ocean… Francis! That's tha guy! Look out for 'im will ya?" He patted me harshly on the back and I stumbled, almost dropping the carpet, "if ya see Francis tell 'im Ol' Tobias says ahoy! Ahaha…"

"Aye…so" I smiled weakly as we continued to trudge on down the docks.

"Oi!" I stopped again… getting a little frustrated at this man now, "I didn't cath yer names?" I couldn't tell him our names were Feliciano and Lovino, he may recognise either of us; me more than Feliciano, as he knew straight away that I was a pirate boy. Before I could speak Feliciano stole the words out of my mouth.

"Feli and Romano!" I turned to look at Feliciano, "I'm Felix and he's Romano… we get mixed up a lot though – must be getting on! The day is late! Bye bye Tobias sir!" Feliciano kicked me in the back of the knee and we continued to walk on.

"What the hell was that!? Giving away your nickname! I snarled as we slumped the carpet onto the floor of the boat with such force that the dinghy bobbed.

"Well he's a pirate right? He wouldn't know the Jack of Hearts…" I pulled up the small anchor of my dusty boat and considered what he said.

"True… true…"

So we sailed straight out onto the ocean until we could no longer see the Kingdom on the horizon before we dropped the anchor. Now when I say dinghy… I most certainly do NOT mean rowboat. This dinghy is equipped for high sea sailing, with a small mast, large bow with a compartment for sleeping and paddles in case the mast broke.

The sea was surprisingly calm for its location, there wasn't a rogue wind about; the water appeared as a clear blue sheet, blending clearly into the clear blue sky… the occasional cloud flawing it's canvas. Felix was lying over the edge of the boat tracing patterns into the water as the boat lulled casually on the calm waters. Antonio was tied to the mast by one of my own pirates' knots; easy to make, impossible to undo. I sat dangling my feet off the bow studying his face… how he rested his head back against the mast revealing his chest further; seeing as he was wearing a peasants clothing, I expected it to be perfect and unflawed… it turned out I was wrong. His chest was adorned with a vast number of scratches, slashes and scars. It made me wonder… where did this man come from? I reached out slowly towards him with one hand; I could feel his heat emanating from his bare skin, like the sun emitted light and warmth… so did Antonio. I hesitated… before pressing my fingers against his scarred chest. It felt amazing, the touch of his skin sent a pleasant chill down the back of my spine and sent the butterflies in my stomach to run riot. I traced across the lighter marks on his chest; running the tips of my fingers over the curves and lines of his mysterious past, I ran my fingers along his collarbone and up the side of his neck to his face… his handsome face. I tucked a stray curl behind his ear. The sun began to lower in the sky and the light played mischievously across the softer features of his face; his dips and curves, he look breath taking.

His head rocked forward onto his chest and he groaned. I jumped in fright. Feliciano looked over, "he's waking up. Come over here now" I barked and Felix scrambled over the boat up to the bow with me. Antonio's eyes wrenched open and he frowned and looked around; horror on his face, he tried to move but the rope restricted him. He looked down at the rope dazed, he struggled furiously before noticing Feliciano and myself sitting in front of him. His face turned instantly from stun to a fiery fury, "YOU! A-and YOU! What is the meaning of this!? Feliciano Vargas untie me right now!" I chuckled a little to myself.

"Which one?" I smirked and he stopped struggling. He clenched his jaw at me and snarled ferociously.

"You… foul… thing! What you did was dirty! FILTHY! You're a FILTHY LIAR! Favourite of whores, mimicker of royalty and above all a lewd MURDERER!" My eyes widened. Feliciano instantly turned to me and stroked my hand. I expected there to be white anger… to be a burning rage in my chest… no there was nothing. Just a heavy emptiness.

"Fratello?" Feliciano whispered. Antonio was calmer now; seeing the way Feliciano reacted to this statement, perhaps he wanted to take back his words, "You know it's not true fratello. You know yo-"

"NO… Feliciano" I growled to myself, "It is…" I looked up at both Antonio and Feliciano who were white and immobile, "I am a murderer… but you'll have to hear me out as I explain… it'll take a while, but please just listen…" and so I began my long story, "I was torn from my mother's womb in a futile attempt to save her life… she bled to death. My father only ever saw me as defective, as a mistake… a murderer. I won't deny that I am not any of those things, because I am. I lived in the Mediterranean islands when I was a child; I never had a definite home… but every home I visited was beautiful. Without edible meat, I stole tomatoes from the gardens of my homes; I was a skilled thief, so I was never caught or blamed. Once a week I would drape myself in this colour and lay myself in a road, crying and wailing for help; I was as good an actor as I was thief, and the two skills complimented each other nicely. When people would kneel down to assist this poor wounded child I would snatch all their spare coins and jewellery without noticing… most of my profits went to my father. Some nights he would come home heavily drunk and I would be left alone to clean his flailing piss and vomit. He created me when he was drunk…"

Then I continued to tell both of these wide-eyed royals how I came to be me… a lewd murderer.

"I was ten when he came stumbling through the front door to our beat-up shack; it was creaky, dusty and stank of alcohol and smoke. I was adding up the worth of that day's catch of coin when he turned to me on the floor and shouted in slur; I can't remember what he said, as he came thrashing wildly armed with a smashed beer bottle… he nicked my ear with the sharp glass," I pointed at the scar in my ear, "right here. He laughed at me and said, 'whadda pussy! You ain't no son o' mine! Ugly face and piss yellow eyes! Hah! Y'know what boy? Ah reckon that I'd be rich without ya! Swimmin' in gold! Not piss like yer eyes! Yer mother was a whore anyway… not worth my time or cash… what do I get in return? Dinner, average sex… and you! Ah mistake! I wish ya were never born! YA HEAR!?'…" I stopped mid-story and looked down at my hands, "I don't remember much after that… all I know is that when I calmed down, his blood was spattered all over the shack… covered my hands entirely. And he lay beneath me… face undistinguishable to the unknowing eye… and it was all my fault…" Feliciano covered his mouth with both hands, "I AM a murderer…" then I looked up at Antonio, "but I didn't murder Katyusha! She confessed her unrequited love to me before pleading me to cut her throat!" Antonio exhaled heavily. He knew that this was the second time he had judged me wrongly; to be honest I hoped he felt rotten guilty, Feliciano didn't deserve the shit I brought upon him though.

"So…" Antonio gulped, "you murdered your _father_ because he abused _you_ all your life, ran away as a _fugitive_ to the Kingdom Hearts in the mainland… found _Kat_ by accident, found _me_ by accident who mistook you for _Feliciano_, who then came up with the idea of _sharing_ the name _Feliciano_ to save _your_ life?"

"Yes."

"So really… you are Lovino Sagra-… Vargas and the guy sitting next to me is the real Feliciano Vargas; Jack of Hearts, and lap dog to the King?" Feliciano frowned.

"Hey!" Antonio shrugged.

"What!? It's true!"

"Well… I'm glad you both understand that I am NOT some insane murderer out to kill because I like killing?"

"Are you?"

"NO! DID YOU NOT FOLLOW ANY OF THAT FELICIANO!?"

"Okay! I got it now! Please don't kill me!"

"I WON'T KILL YOU- agh… damnit…" I put my face in my hands and sighed heavily. Perhaps I'll have to go back to my homes I had thought; perhaps I will have to take the punishment that would be waiting for me, Antonio cleared his throat.

"I understand…Lovino," I looked up at him, "…I know what it feels like to be wrongly accused of something…" he smiled. Feliciano glared at him with far more horror than before.

"Wait… what!? You… actually KILLED someone!?" He screeched.

"NO! Well… yes but-"

"OH MY GOODNESS! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I DON'T- I don't … I think I'll sleep… now" with that Feliciano fainted backwards onto the floor of the boat. Antonio groaned and shrugged off the rope to pick Feliciano up.

"Better put him below deck…" It was only when he stood with Felix in his arms that I realised he untied my knot. I frowned and scrambled over to the rope; holding each end to try and find where he cut it, because there was absolutely no way he could have untied my pirate's knot, no one in any existence had untied a pirate's knot before.

"What the-!?" the rope was almost untouched.

"Surprised? Antonio perched himself on the bow where I sat. I dropped the rope and glowered my most intense of glares at the smug Knight who smiled sweetly as if nothing had ever happened. I plonked down and sulked against the mast.

"No." I blushed a little… a little more impressed than annoyed. He chuckled to himself and turned to watch the sun in its last moments; reclining against the horizon, his tone changed, "I was also ten when my life took a turn for the worst…"

"Did I ask to hear your life story?" I grumbled. He shot daggers through his eyes.

"Did I ask to hear _yours_?" I cowered into my knees, "as I was saying… when I was ten I lived on the Mediterranean islands too… you must have been about six or seven years old then. But at that time I had a loving family; Mama, Papa, Afonso my big brother, Michelle my baby sister, Grammy, Pappy and all of my cousins! We all lived together in a beautiful house on a large property big enough for all of us! We ate pasta, pizza, enchiladas and drank wine together every night… those were the best days of my life…" the sky turned dark as the sun slipped below the water's edge, plunging the world around us into darkness.

"What happened…" his head spun around and it were as if all the previous optimism and exultance had been sucked from his body.

"What happened? What happened!? What didn't happen!" he almost shouted, I could see himself struggling to hold back, "you would be too young to remember when the Mediterranean islands were pillaged by knave pirates and savaged by economic crisis… but they were… my mother raped and slaughtered before my eyes, father's head was sliced from his body and used as a ball… after it had been kicked around I couldn't tell it was him. Grammy and Pappy were burnt alive along with the other elderly folk in the centre of our town… but what they did with children was far more ludicrous than I could have ever thought of…" his lip twitched as he snarled at the memory, "those who were too young to work were bashed against a tree until they stopped crying. Those who were old enough to work were forced onto the ship's deck. Afonso and I managed to save our sister Michelle from the tree by sending her on a row boat over the ocean with a woman from our town… I've never seen her since."

"What about Afonso?"

"He escaped the deck before the ship could sail off… I also have never seen him since…"

"What about you? Did you get away like your brother?"

"No… I lived my life on deck being tortured by the crew. Whips, chains, hot iron… almost anything you could think of," he opened his shirt and pointed at the individual marks, "one day I got tired of it… Henrich I think his name was, well he was threatening to castrate me with a hot iron rod I think, he said something like 'With all the ladies 'round we can't 'ave yer running 'round with that thing attached can we pretty boy? Yer a liability!'… yes those were his exact words. It was a complete accident of course… but I let my built up rage get the better of me and-" he stopped himself mid-sentence. I could see the images playing back in the reflection of his eyes; I could feel the burning sensation in his chest as past anger began to build up, I understood exactly what he felt like.

"Antonio" he snapped back to reality.

"I burnt out his eyes… I pressed the hot iron deep into his eye sockets and listened to him scream for mercy. He died out of low pain tolerance," my stomach clenched thinking about the imagery of this moment; eyeballs sizzling and bubbling, it made me nauseous but I couldn't be rude and vomit, "… the Captain saw this happen… and by god you should have seen his face… he was grinning with this sadistic joy, he was impressed! So impressed that he made me his personal assassin. They say I was lucky, but nothing could have been ghastlier,"

"Surely that would mean that you would be fed and treated better thou-"

"YOU DON'T GET IT! No one did…" his pupils became sharper than pinpricks as he perforated my chest with his horrified expression, "I was trained to kill in the most revolting ways you would ever had heard of if you had heard of them! I was forced to slaughter and torture my friends who worked on the ship until their mutilated bodies littered the lower decks. The blood of innocent men, women and children alike stain my hands…" he looked down at his palms in disgust, "I was- no… AM the perfect killer"

"Surely-" as soon as those words escaped my lips he had already pulled out a knife from his belt.

"Give me a mark." I swallowed my words.

"Antoni-"

"Give. Me. A. Mark Lovino" slightly terrified I pointed to the ring of metal dangling aimlessly off the top of the mast. Antonio never broke his gaze off me as he tossed the knife directly into the centre of the ring. I shivered, "I never miss my mark, never have and never will… I am the perfect killer" I shuddered at the intensity of his glare, "I killed the Captain and the crew and sailed the ship into the ports of Heart's Kingdom. I lived off the streets for a while until I was twelve; like you were, then I started to use my skill to kill off the rapists, murderers and criminals of the Kingdom… that way I was earning money in a relatively good way as a bounty hunter. One day I rescued a boy who was older than me from being beaten to death, little did I know that boy would be the thirteen year old Prince of Hearts… I told him my story and he took me in. That's when I met Feliciano and Gilbert, then later on Kiku and thus we became the High Court of Hearts… serving the King and only the King" stars began to peep out through the murky darkness and the moon began to raise above the black sea water; illuminating Antonio's face which smiled into the starry sky above, "I owe Ludwig my life really. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for him…" I was beginning to get the impression that this Ludwig who appeared to be a cruel and arrogant bastard; was actually smart, merciful and generous as ever, "he has never made me kill or assassinate anyone in the time I have been in his care. I only hurt to protect those I care for… never out of hatred"

"Could you kill _me?"_ I had not thought about the words that tumbled from my lips at that moment. Antonio stared at me in disbelief, he laughed nervously.

"Ahah… sorry?" I frowned at his naivety.

"Could you kill me… don't make me say it again" He stood immobile for a long moment; mouth slightly parted at the austerity of the question, he pushed himself off the bow and stood over me.

"Yes… I could kill you. Right here, right now," his tone was sharp like a biting frost. He knelt down at my eye level; I remember his eyes were half lidded with some sort of sadistic swirl, the green colour in his eyes swathing like toxic acid, "I could cut your throat with that knife… or… hang you with this rope… drown you in the water… any way Feliciano would never know it was me would he?" as soon as I felt my hands being tied behind my back it was too late; I was bound to the mast with the same pirates knot I had done on him earlier, I snarled up at him.

"Bastard! You planned this!" Antonio chuckled darkly as he reached up the mast to retrieve his knife. Was he really going to kill me? I couldn't decide whether to feel terrified, angry or slightly aroused.

"Perhaps… but it was you who asked me if I could kill you…" he knelt back down in front of me. A breath away. He pressed the cold steel against my neck and dragged it down to my collarbone; I shivered beneath the metal… it felt extremely wrong… as I was finding it slightly… erotic.

"Just do it." I growled. Antonio's face dropped.

"What?"

"Just do it! Kill me… I deserve it…" the words felt like acid; but it was the truth, perhaps that was why it hurt so much to accept it as a filthy liar, I closed my eyes tightly and my heart began to pulse faster as I anticipated death. There was a painfully long pause, "DO IT!" I screamed.

The cold metal was soon replaced with something far more terrifying.

I could taste warm wine and tomato sauce as something pressed itself hard against my lips. My eyes shot wide open as Antonio clutched my face in both his palms and moved his lips roughly against my own; my face heated up to its highest temperature possible and I tried to pull away in bafflement, I shook my head furiously out of the kiss, "WHAT THE FUCK!?" Tears began to sting the corners of my eyes for some stupid reason, "I ASKED YOU END ME! NOT TO MAKE OUT WITH ME!?" Antonio tried to go in for another kiss but I took his lip in my mouth with my teeth and bit down. He exclaimed and recoiled holding his bleeding lip in surprise.

"O-ouch! Why did you do that!?" I was now in tears at this point.

"Because you are confusing me you bastard! Why won't you listen to me god damnit…" He lifted my chin with a soft hand and my teary yellow eyes met his glittering green ones.

"You asked me if I _could_ kill you… not if I _would_ kill you Lovino…" He placed a soft kiss on my chin and trailed down my neck and nuzzled into my collar bone; each tender kiss shooting tingles down my spine and prickling each hair on my body on end, "the truth is… mi amor…" I had no idea what he did next but I felt something pull at my skin on my neck and it was hot and I couldn't help but utter a squeak of approval, "I would…never hurt you...usted es mi mundo (you are my world)" I choked and began to cry harder… the tears simply came hot and fast without warning; endlessly they trailed down my cheeks, these tears didn't burn. Antonio kissed me on the neck, softly grazing his lips across my skin before looking me dead in the eye, "now you've lost the title of Feliciano and become you own person… I feel I can finally tell you exactly how I've felt about you for the past seven years" his breath was slow and condensed on my cheeks as he rested his forehead against mine, "or maybe…"he sat back on his legs and pulled his shirt over his head; revealing his entire rugged torso to me, the moonlight illuminated all the scars and the shadows played within the crevices and cracks in his abdomen... he was far more glorious than I had ever dreamed. I couldn't take my eyes of him as he leant forward once more to teasingly rub his lips across mine; his voice nothing more than a whisper, "I could show you…"

I will speak no more of that night in my boat… what happened in those moments will live on only in our memories.

But nothing could have prepared us for what happened when we returned to the Castle…

…_nothing at all._


	4. Hearts - Part 4

For those of you who only want **Spamano fluff** you should read:

**_Hearts Part2, Part3 and Part4._**

If you want your **hearts ripped out** read the _**whole thing** _:)

* * *

**Princes of the Universe**

**:Book 4 –**_**Hearts:**_

_- Part 4 -_

What differs us from the rest of the human race I wonder… I constantly ponder upon this question; what makes us unique? What makes us so special… so different.

Is it the way you look? The physical appearance? The way my eyes resemble the colour of urine or gold. The way his eyes resemble acid or emerald. Scrawny, plump or muscular. Flawless or maimed.

Is it the way we think? What goes on in our minds when we look at something or feel something? Should we be happy, angry or sad. Burst into tears or skip a beat. Half empty… or half full?

Perhaps it's the way we sound? Our speech patterns and dialect? Cacophonous and harsh or harmonious and fluid. Rich like wine or thin and anaemic like diluted gin.

All of these options seem to have their pros and cons. But I have finally come to my own conclusion of what makes each human being unique…

It's about all that is beneath the sights, sounds and thoughts of our being. It's having the courage to strip your reason for existence bare, and have it lay before you… exposed…vulnerable. Peeling away all that is tangible; and layer by layer you are confronted with things you could never begin to comprehend, reducing yourself until you are stark.

What makes us unique… is what we can't see. What makes us cry at night. What makes us get up in the morning. What makes us continue to live our miserable lives as if they meant something bigger than waking up to the same routine every day for the rest of your life until you died. Then what? CONGRATULATIONS! You made it the whole way through without killing yourself or being killed! Here's a fucking badge! Now go and do it again in a new body, bye thanks for stopping by see you next time! So where does actually _**living**_ come into this perpetual circle of life?

What makes us unique… is how we make it worth living.

I finally started living.

It began when I rolled an unconscious Knight inside a carpet and smuggled him onto a boat. It began when I found out his ghastly past. It began… when he wrapped me inside his arms and showed me the meaning of life on the floor of a boat in the middle of the ocean. That's when I started living. Having the courage to strip my reason for existence bare, and have it lay before you… exposed…vulnerable.

My reason is called Antonio Hernandez Carriedo.

The next morning we reluctantly sailed back the docks… Feliciano shivering scarred with some images he'll never forget it appears. His fault for watching.

We arrived at the docks and the three of us stepped off the boat. A familiar voice called out, "Ey! Felix! Romano! 'Ow was tha trip to tha golden shores?" Tobias waddled jollily towards the three of us who continued walking, "I see yer picked up a souvenir! Ahah who's this pretty boy eh?" Antonio walked past him and pushed him off the dock and into the water with a shocking force.

"Don't call me pretty boy." He snarled and continued walking into the ports as if nothing had ever happened. Tobias bobbed in the water with a perplexed expression plastered on his face; he said nothing as I gave him a hopeless shrug, he laughed and pulled himself onto the dock when we were mere specs in the crowd.

We returned to the castle that morning. Antonio escorted Feliciano and I to our bedroom; just in case anyone saw Feliciano and I at the same time, he claimed it was for 'protection'. We arrived at our bedroom safe and sound.

"Here we are! Back home again" Antonio grinned as he leant on the doorframe to my bedroom.

"Don't look so proud you damn bastard. It was just a walk from the docks to the castle damnit…" I blushed and looked away. He cleared his throat and looked at the ceiling, "so… what happens now. Uhh… I suppose we just continue as if it never happened rig-" he captured my lips in his, causing me to flare up like a tomato again. He pulled away with a dust of pink across his cheeks and a flock of butterflies tickling my stomach.

"I most certainly hope not!" he pressed his forehead against mine and whispered, "I'll never forget the night that changed my life…" he pressed his lips to my forehead, "Tú eres mi sol ... (You are my sun…)" then to my nose, "Tú eres mi luna y las estrellas ... (You are my moon and stars…)" then a long passionate one against my lips, "Tú eres mi todo ... Lovino (You are my everything… Lovino)" to cover up my embarrassment I flung my arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight embrace; burying my face into the crook of his neck to hide my happiness, I choked.

"Te amo Antonio! Te amo ti amo!" He rested his head against mine. Suddenly he pulled away at lightning speed.

"What time is it!?" I turned to look at the clock on my wall.

"Uhh… about eleven forty five. Why?" His face became pale.

"Cristo! I'm going to be late!"

"Late for what?"

"A big meeting with all the Kingdom's representatives from each corner of the mainland! AH! I still need to get changed! Washed and changed at that…" He looked at himself all flustered and started to panic. He rested his palms on both sides of my face; squishing my cheeks together like a fish, I felt like an idiot, "I have this meeting right now but I promise mi bella sol I'll be back as fast as the thrush can fly!" in amongst his flustered rushing he STILL managed to take a moment to appreciate the stupidity of my fish face, "Lovino! You look like a tomato fish! Ahaha!"

"Shut up you bastard…" he chuckled and kissed my fish lips once more before scrambling off to his own room.

"Adios mi amor!" he called with a glorious grin plastered upon his face. I exhaled and rubbed the back of my neck.

"Lui è davvero un caso senza speranza… (He really is a hopeless case…)" before I turned to close the door to my room I took a second glance back down the hallway where we came from. I saw a flash of some red eyes and white hair vanish behind a corner; I frowned and closed the bedroom door, locking it as I went. Feliciano was sitting in a corner rocking back and forth covering his ears. I laughed, "did you have a good sleep on the boat last night Felix? Sweet dreams?" I chuckled as he stared at me with an incredulous expression.

When Antonio said he would be back as fast as the thrush can fly I didn't know he meant just over an hour. It was a very short meeting indeed. I had just gone for my turn in the bathing quarters and wore nothing but a towel wrapped securely around my waist. I stepped out of the bath and slicked my hair back off my face and the steam caressed my pale skin as I walked over to the sink to brush my teeth. But no… it turns out I wouldn't be brushing my teeth after all.

"Lovi~!" I squealed as I was lifted off my feet by an over enthusiastic chocolate man. My feet dangled aimlessly in the air like a doll as I writhed and flailed in his grasp.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU BASTARD! LET GO OF ME RIGHT NOW DAMNIT! OR I'LL KILL YOU!" Antonio hugged my legs to his chest as he looked up at me with a grin that could outshine the sun.

"You wouldn't kill me Lovino mi amor" he kissed my belly button and I squirmed. He had changed clothes into his red velvet coat and white High Court silk shirt, "I have something to tell you mi sol, mi luna y las estrellas! (My sun, my moon and stars!)"

"THEN PUT ME DOWN BEFORE I KNEE YOU IN THE FACE YOU FUCKWIT!" He laughed and lowered me down so that I was face to face with him. He simply grinned madly at me with the most stupidest of complexions I had ever seen; how in god's name was I attracted to THAT, he was always such an optimistic idiot… so I suppose that's why opposites attract.

"Lovino you look so cute with your hair slicked back like that!" He ran his fingers through my wet hair, "your rage only makes you more irresistible though haha!"

"What did you want to tell me you bastard damnit." I grumbled into my chest holding up my towel with one hand and fixing my hair with the other. Antonio cleared his throat.

"I'm going away tonight on a small trip to another Kingdom," I swallowed hard. He was leaving? So soon too… and I felt as if we had only just realised each other's existence until yesterday; well I suppose that's because we did, he found Lovino. Although it had only been a few hours it really only felt like a few seconds. My chest felt hollow again as my heart grew small, "It's a very important job that Ludwig gave me! I'm quite excited really! I won't be gone for long, so you'll be alright without me won't you?" I snapped out of my thoughts to nod weakly at this.

"Yeah… of course I will. Bastard" Antonio grinned and pulled me against his chest; holding my head to his heart, it was so warm… he cradled me in his arms as I pressed my wet cheeks against his white shirt and red velvet coat; the fabric was so soft against my skin, softer than I remember anything to have been. His heart pounded against my ear… it was soothing, as if the soft thumping was dispelling those images of my mashed martyr and paling prostitute from my mind; gentle and reassuring.

"I'll be there when you wake up tomorrow morning… as soon as you open your eyes" he moved his lips against my hair. I nodded as he let go of me. He stepped back towards the door and took a glance over his shoulder, "remember! As soon as you open your eyes…" and with that he disappeared out of the steam. I sighed. There he went… vanished, with the strong possibility that he may never return. I wouldn't have been surprised if he never did.

I readjusted my towel and stepped towards the sink to resume my daily ablutions. The mirror had fogged itself while I had been preoccupied with a certain Knight; curious… I squinted into the fogged mirror, and swore I saw a blurred splotch of red and white over my shoulder. I raised a hand to the mirror and wiped away the condensation of that particular spot; sharpening the reflection I jolted. There I saw him. Reclining against the far wall with the dirtiest smirks painted upon his pallid complexion, "who is this duplicate I see? Who stands in the place where the Jack should be?" He snickered. I looked directly at the man now; separated by a room's length, his presence still burnt as flames did. All the muscles in my body tensed, "don't look so sour my fickle friend! Harming you is not what I intend… yet…" he pushed himself off the wall and leant forward in my direction, curiously raising a brow, "how did you come to this position, in this location. When I feel you have an entirely different delegation?" No one else in the world could speak as this man did… he was special; funnily enough, no one could be as special as this fellow right there. He clicked his fingers and grinned smugly, "Ah! The Knight!" He chuckled extending a hand to me, "Gilbert. Joker, at your service!" flapping his hand about wildly he bent over into a flamboyant bow.

"Cut that crap Joker. I know exactly who the fuck you are…" The Joker's facial expression dropped and he stood normally.

"I know you do. Some would say it's a good thing too… Agh that rhymed by accident- Look! Lovino! I know who you are and I know why you're here" I warily stepped backwards against the sink, no matter what happened here. I was trapped. The Joker knew who I was apparently and I couldn't escape.

"Oh yeah?" I glared cautiously.

"I understand and respect your caution about me… but I need you to listen! For your own sake, none of this has got to do with me! Now I know people say I can persuade anyone into doing anything I want for MY benefit, but the truth is I don't want to. So lower your guard and pay attention to what I am about to tell you" he appeared earnest. The way he looked around to make sure no one else was listening. He paused. Scuttling to the door he stuck his head out and took a quick glance before turning back and locking the door, "A war is coming. And I fear it will be much more than a mere scrimmage… the King of Hearts is going mad with power- the Queen and I have done all we can to calm him, but I fear this will only be the build-up of what is yet to come. I know. I hear things, I see things…" this was all foreign to me. I never actually paid attention to all that was spoken of in the High Court of Hearts.

"So how does this apply to me exactly?" Gilbert exhaled sharply and ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Agh… how do I put this uhh, hm well- GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" He barked in a strained whisper; his eyes were wild with fear, small red flamed flickering fickly. He grabbed my arm and his hands were cold, "get out of here while you still can! You have a chance to escape and find somewhere safe, far away! Take it while the opportunity presents itself to you, snatch it up and pack your bags today! Take your boat and sail away!" I batted his hands off of my arms and took another step away from him.

"Oh yeah!? Then why don't you do it yourself!" he laughed nervously.

"Now come on Lovino, you know very well that people would notice if the Joker tried to run away from a King's Court at the time they needed him most. I have no choice…" he prodded me in the chest, "but YOU do. And by god I envy you for having the freedom to make your own choices…" He looked at me as if he were waiting for an answer, eyes wide, "still not convinced? You're kidding me aren't you!? How can I prove to you that if you don't leave you will most likely die!? Scheiße! (SHIT!)" he kicked the base of the sink, causing it to crack, "WHY DOES NO ONE TRUST ME!?" in complete disregard for my lingering presence Gilbert threw a punch at the mirror; the glass shattered into the sink like raindrops, his knuckles began to bleed heavily. He leant against the sink and panted heavily; I peered over his shoulder to see him staring at his reflection in the fragments of glass which lay scattered in the sink, he appeared to be disgusted with what he saw, "why won't anyone listen to me… I'm trying my hardest to spare innocent lives here, and still no one listens. Not even you" I sighed exasperatedly.

"I _can_ hear your words bastard… I just choose not to acknowledge their meaning" his eyes flicked to my reflection in the glass, "so what. There's a war coming… to be honest I don't really care. I would never go back to where I came from if the world depended on it"

"But Antonio is your world…"

"… if the REST of the world depended on it. I stay here because of the obligation I have given myself which is to-"

"Protect Antonio… I know… that's why I knew it would be next to impossible to try and persuade you to save yourself…" he took a deep breath in and stood upright, "I'm going to try the same thing with Feliciano… but I doubt he'll be swayed either. He'll want to stay with Ludwig… regardless of whether he still has his sanity or not. I thought I could make at least ONE of you Vargas' leave… turns out I was wrong" he wiped his bloodied knuckles on the side of his trousers as if he did not care. Gilbert walked towards the bathing room door and unlocked it disdainfully, "that's what I was afraid of." He pushed the door open.

"Gilbert!" I called after him. He tossed a half a glance over his shoulder.

"You're the Joker! Why don't you just use your silver tongue to force me to leave?" He raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

"I don't know…" he stepped out the door, "maybe it's because… I actually have a heart… and I care" he turned his back on me, "good luck Lovino, stay hidden. Stay Safe" with that he closed the door and was gone.

Gilbert Beilschmidt. The Joker of Hearts. The only Joker in history who had a heart. I had never paid attention to Gilbert as he simply sat on the floor next to the throne Ludwig sat in and lazily rested his head against the throne as if he were going to fall asleep; sometimes he would actually fall asleep during a High Court hearing or just generally in the presence of strangers, his snoring would attract the attention of Ludwig who would then give the Joker a good slap around the back of the head to wake him up… I was there when it happened once. Antonio would simply roll his eyes.

That day in particular went by too slow. Feliciano was out being himself. Katyusha was dead. The other girls were grieving. Antonio was gone. I was alone… again. I honestly should have been used to being alone by now… well that's physically alone. I was never mentally alone.

That evening I sat on my bed staring at the kingdom below. Feliciano hadn't come back from visiting Ludwig that evening; to be honest I wasn't worried in the slightest for him, he loved Ludwig and I respected that… a little bit.

It was a full moon that night; the cold ethereal glow rippled on the ocean's surface, stretching her hands across the glassy water and caressing it as a mother would stroke her child. The buildings cast long shadows across the paths which appeared as white veins in the darkness; the occasional street lamp glowing like fireflies, loitering. There was no activity out on the streets, no cats scampering between shadows or drunkard stumbling from door to door… it was peaceful. I was never a person for swooning over the scenery, but this was mesmerizing. Perhaps it was because it reminded me of the night on the boat. I rubbed the back of my neck as I immersed myself in the memories… I ran my hand across the dark purple blemishes scattered across my collarbone.

"**Su piel es más suave que el mármol mi amor… (Your skin is smoother than marble mi amor)" he brushed his lips alone my collarbone; pressing me up against the mast further, "Quiero ver cada pulgada de ella ... (I want to see every inch of it…)" he whispered as his hands wandered beneath my pathetic excuse for a shirt.**

My fingers found their way up the back of my neck and into my hair; re tracing his steps and movements, as if he were there beside me.

**His calloused fingers glided up my neck and entwined themselves in between the locks of my hair; he pressed his lips to the crown of my head and took a deep sigh, "Su pelo huele a miel y coco mi sol celestial… (Your hair smells like honey and coconut my heavenly sun)" he yelped as I bit down on his neck in frustration.**

The cut in my ear no longer reminded me of my father and his murder as I held it between my fingers.

**He licked and nibbled my ear as he finally decided to untie my hands from around the mast, "Que se siente divertida contra mi lengua… (That feels funny against my tongue…)" he laughed hoarsely beneath his breath; whispering in his thick accent, and repeatedly running his tongue over the scar in my ear.**

My mind was running riot with lucid memories which left all the places on my body tingling and prickling with his phantom fingers lingering on my skin.

"**Tú eres mi sol ... (You are my sun…)" he muttered kissing the back of my neck; I dug my nails into the bottom of the boat, feeling the wood latch beneath my nails, "Tu eres mi luna y las estrellas (You are my moon and stars…)" he kissed in between my shoulder blades; I pressed my face against the wood, digging my nails even deeper into the planks, " Tu... tu eres todo- (You… you are my everything-)" I scraped my nails down the wood; clawing the boat desperately, "... y ... yo s-siempre te a-amaré ... y s-sólo usted…** **sólo usted (…and…I w-will always love y-you… and o-only you… only you)" he collapsed into the small of my back.**

Something tore me from my thoughts. Voices from down the hallway; hushed voices, with a fierce tone. Someone was coming. I leapt off the bed and looked around for something to arm myself with, heart thumping with fear. I turned to the wall next to the window, "aha!" I saw it. The dagger Katyusha gave to me was still wedged into the wall; I tugged it out and looked for a place to hide, the voices were getting unnervingly closer… and there were thumps and bangs along the wall. Before I had the time to think I dived into the closet as the bedroom door swung open. I pointed the dagger at the closed door of the tiny closet which was crammed full with my belongings and random objects of Feliciano's; something was poking me in the side of the head and something else prodding my spine, but at least none of these things abusing my personal space was a knife. I listened to the voices which had become muffled due to the thick doors; one was hoarse and slightly grainy, while the other was light a melodic… what an unlikely pair of vocal tones to be co-operating in close proximity… I had wondered what they wanted with my bedroom – I hoped they weren't searching for me. I pushed open the door a little bit to get a better idea of what they were saying. As soon as I did so I got an earful of heavy breathing and passionate Germanic tongue.

"Ich möchte nicht, dich zu verletzen... Ich weiß nur, ich werde dich zu verletzen (I don't want to hurt you... I just know I'm going to hurt you)"

"Smettila Ludwig! Non riuscirai mai a farmi del male ... sei fin troppo gentile ... troppo gentile per lasciare che accada a me ... (Stop it Ludwig! You'll never hurt me... you're far too kind... too gentle to let that happen to me...)" I covered my hands over my mouth and almost vomited all over the closet. They were no robbers or assassins. It was far worse than that. I tried covering my ears but eventually that was no help in stemming the sound from flowing into my ears and scarring my mind, "Oh mio dio misericordioso! (Oh my goodness gracious!)" I buried my head inside my shirt and tried to fill my ears with the fabric. No help at all.

"Oh der Schöpfer und Erlöser, erbarme dich über mich! (Oh the creator and the redeemer have mercy on me!)" I bit down hard on my arm to stop myself from screaming in queasiness, "Rufen Sie mich an Ihre Hoheit noch einmal ... 9Call me your highness one more time…)

"Vostra Altezza! (Your highness!)"

I don't even want to speak of what happened in those following hours.

I slept on the floor beside the bed after they had both _'finished' _that evening… there was no way I was ever sleeping on that same mattress ever again.

Morning broke. Well… afternoon for me. Golden rays perforated my eyelids and I shielded my eyes with an arm as I yawned and grumbled into the polished marble floor; as if you remember, I had removed the carpet from this room not too long ago. The stone was sharp against my skin and I moaned as it froze my cheek.

"**I'm going away tonight on a small trip to another Kingdom,"** **I swallowed hard.**

My eyes shot open.

"**I'll be there when you wake up tomorrow morning… as soon as you open your eyes"**

I felt my body become limp. He wasn't here. My lip quivered, "bastard" I choked out into the marble.

"**remember! As soon as you open your eyes…"**

"My eyes are open damnit…" I stared into an empty space beside me. My stomach lurched and I crossed my arms across my stomach, "Mannaggia a te sdraiato bastardo… (God damn you lying bastard…)" A warm breeze distracted me from wallowing in my loneliness. I looked up at the ceiling. A rose petal fluttered out from nowhere and perched itself upon the tip of my nose. I lifted it off my nose delicately between my forefinger and thumb; I squinted me eyes at it and raised a brow, "where on earth…" another came and rested on my lap. Then another. And another… and they kept coming one after another riding on a warm wind until I decided that this was far to maddening not to be investigated. I pushed myself off the floor; parting my bare chest from the chilly marble, I draped the white sheet I had used to sleep around my shoulders… but let it go in surprise, "mio…dio…" I managed to squeeze from my throat.

The bedroom was filled with deep red roses; covering every horizontal surface with the colour I adored, the beautiful hue which ruled my life. Rose petals pirouetted against my skin as the warm ocean wind washed over my skin; the smell of sea salt and freshly baked food intoxicated my nostrils, and the petals tousled my hair. Standing arms crossed staring out the open window was the only human being to walk the earth that could infuriate me to the same level he aroused me… I tried to say his name but nothing came out of my mouth; nothing more than an embarrassing stammer that is, "A-a…" his head turned and suddenly I was completely paralyzed.

"Lovino! I'm so sorry I'm late! The job took longer than expected… I hope these are enough to apologise… do you like them? I know red is your favourite colour, and it was a little expensive I'll admit… but I promise you tha-" I slapped him across the face. His head remained frozen in the position I had left it in. He touched his hand to his glowing red cheek, "Ouch! I said I was really sorry!" I slapped him again, the other cheek this time, "Ouch! I don't get it! What did I-" I filled his lips with the taste of wine and hungrily bruised my lips against his. He stood there baffled as I pulled away.

"You need to learn how to shut the fuck up once in a while! You talk too much damnit! You'll ruin the moment!" he gave a confused crooked smile, which melted me.

"I'm not sure I understand you Lovino…"

"Shut up and kiss me you bastard" Antonio did not hesitate to fulfil this order. His arms wrapped around the small of my back and we spent the rest of the afternoon showering each other in rose petals and kisses alike.

But then a proclamation was issued throughout the whole Kingdom…

**Dear Soldiers, Citizens and Members of the Court of the Kingdom Hearts.**

**A declaration of war has been issued by his majesty King Alfred K. Jones; Kingdom Spades, against the combined Kingdoms of Diamonds, Clubs and Hearts. **

**The Kingdoms of Diamonds, Clubs and Hearts have recently formed an alliance against the imprudent Spade's to preserve our heritage, honour and our people. **

**The United Kingdoms of Clartmond call all able bodied men to fight against the profane, irreligious blue coats and fulfil your duty to protect our Kingdom from the conflict.**

**Every boy from the age of sixteen up is required to report to the barracks immediately, this is mandatory for all to whom it applies. Those who attempt to defy the King's orders will suffer the consequences. **

**Prepare yourselves for history in the making… The Battle of Clartmond draws near.**

**Signed, The United Kingdoms of Clartmond:**

**Ludwig Beilschmidt; King of Hearts.**

**Elizibeta Hedervary; Queen of Clubs**

**Francis Bonnefoy; King of Diamonds **

"_No…"_


	5. Hearts - Part 5

**Princes of the Universe**

**:Book 4 –**_**Hearts:**_

_- Part 5 –_

**Dear Soldiers, Citizens and Members of the Court of the Kingdom Hearts.**

**A declaration of war has been issued by his majesty King Alfred K. Jones; Kingdom Spades, against the combined Kingdoms of Diamonds, Clubs and Hearts. **

**The Kingdoms of Diamonds, Clubs and Hearts have recently formed an alliance against the imprudent Spade's to preserve our heritage, honour and our people. **

**The United Kingdoms of Clartmond call all able bodied men to fight against the profane, irreligious blue coats and fulfil your duty to protect our Kingdom from the conflict.**

**Every boy from the age of sixteen up is required to report to the barracks immediately, this is mandatory for all to whom it applies. Those who attempt to defy the King's orders will suffer the consequences. **

**Prepare yourselves for history in the making… The Battle of Clartmond draws near.**

**Signed, The United Kingdoms of Clartmond:**

**Ludwig Beilschmidt; King of Hearts.**

**Elizibeta Hedervary; Queen of Clubs**

**Francis Bonnefoy; King of Diamonds **

As I read further into the thick font on the paper as if it were screaming the words at the reader; like an angry soldier or a King, a furious King.

Once I finished reading there was a beat of silence when the letter slipped out of my grasp and fluttered mockingly onto the floor. I swayed a little… feeling increasingly nauseous, before shooting out a hand to balance myself on the edge of our bed. I stared at the floor; trembling at the print which spitefully leering up at me, the ink seemed to reach out at me… creeping closer and closer as my vision began to blur and I became dizzier.

"F-fratello?" I refused to look at him. I felt the muscles in my back ripple in a white hot rage, "what is it fratell-"

"Read it" I could feel his confused eyes poke me in the side of the body as I gripped the duvet in my palms.

"What?"

"On the floor. Read it." I barked kicking the poster towards him before striding to the window and kicking it open. The doors swung wide open as I growled, "Merda!" The frame collided with the wall of the building and rattled. Leaning on the window frame out as far as I could go without falling. The salty breeze stroked my burning skin and throbbing brow; it whistled over the rooftops of the town and its people, which congregated like clumps of ants at various street corners and lampposts to read the cursed print handed to me this morning. I watched them disdainfully. Each reaction was so different… so unique… something that contributes to making who we are; differing each of us from other miserable lives in the human race.

Behind me I could hear the cackle of crackling paper being straightened. I wonder what Felix's reaction would be… what Antonio's would be. Below me I could hear a mixture of voices. Cries of horror and anxiousness; women clutched their sons and husbands to their breast, shrieking in dread like hawks cry for their lost children. Men roaring in wrath; as they became infuriated at the complacency of the thrones and their freedom to puppet them as they so pleased, pulling strings and cutting them. Children laughing and giggling; gaining their chance to prove who was the strongest of bravest, older men… those who have probably seen war before shook their heads at their naivety. Citizens scuttled and darted about the streets madly; anarchy was breaking loose. Men gathered in the square and the women cradled one another in futile attempts of comfort, children were running and yelling in joy… pretending to be knights waving sticks around.

A noise was uttered behind me. At first it sounded like a weak sigh… but then I realised that it was Felix's best attempt at an exclamation. I heard the bed creak and a crumple of paper. His breathing became inconsistent and quick. Felix snivelled, "W-why would they do this?" the paper crumpled more until I couldn't hear its smug chuckling any longer. I inhaled the sea spray deeply into my chest, "how could they do this!?"

"I don't know…"

"What will happen to _US_!?"

"I. Don't. Know."

"What are we going to do!?" Getting tired of his useless inquisition I slammed my hands against the windows until they shattered in my palms.

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW OKAY!" I yelled. Now noticing what I had done to my hand. I looked at it through the bloodied hole in the glass, "merda." I exhaled and gently pulled my hand out of the glass; spikes of piercing agony twitched in my hands as the splinters of glass tinkled against each other as they tumbled from my skin like droplets of water, mixed with blood. I looked down at my palms, chuckling to myself darkly. Now the blood is literally 'On my hands'.

A gentle warmth wrapped itself around my wrists. I looked up. Feliciano held my hands in his as if they were delicate feathers; he mumbled something inaudible, I frowned at him, "sorry, what?" his eyes rose from his cheeks as the sun would. I held my breath in shock. They were so… so…. Dull.

"come here…" he sat me on the bed and wandered over to the closet; our safe spot for late night visits, he pulled out a medium sized metal box from the drawer at the bottom. Resting it upon the bed; he popped the metal caps on the box and lifted the lid. I swear I was looking at a professional field medic's kit… and I was.

"Where the hell did you get that?" He rummaged around until he produced a pair of heavy duty tweezers, anaesthetic, cotton balls and bandages.

"I've been in this castle for many raids and battles… I treated the wounds of everyone in the High Court here. It's a skill I've picked up to help those around me… because I can't fight…" he began to pull out the glass shards with the tweezers, I flinched at the sharp pricks occasionally. He gazed emptily at my hands, "I'm too weak, too useless to fight…" he sighed and continued to work nimbly, "but I help as much as I can with the skills I already have gifted to me. And that is enough to care for my friends," he smiled down at the cotton balls as he dripped some anaesthetic onto one, "so it is enough after all… this will sting a little" I grunted as he wiped the cool liquid against my hands; clearing my hands of the blood which stained them, he cleaned all that was dirty… purged me of my sins it seemed.

"Will you fight _this_ war?" he looked me in the eyes again, "alongside Ludwig?" A dust of pink sprinkled across his cheeks as he unintentionally pressed the cotton ball harder against my hand wounds. I winced.

"Maybe…" he finished cleaning my wounds and began to unravel the bandage, "I want to help Ludwig as much as I can, even if it means fighting on the field with him… to tell the truth I am not afraid of dying for him" he started to wrap each of my hands in the crisp cotton strips, "but he would never allow that… Gilbert tells me that he would never even think of putting me in such danger. It's sweet… in a way. Just like Ludwig" he tied off the last knot, "there! All done! Now… they're going to feel sore for the next three days as that is when most of the healing begins, so try not to use them or put them under too much stress in that time, kay?" He smiled holding my mummified hands. I nodded.

"Thanks." I grumbled. He patted my hands.

"No problem fratello! I'm always happy to help my dear brother! You know that silly! Haha!" the smile he had stretched across his face almost resembled the fake grin Katyusha created in her last moments. Like a mask. So fake.

"Felix," he ceased laughter almost instantly and stared at me blankly, "what's wrong." He continued to stare emptily for only a few more seconds… before his lip began to quiver and he broke down in tears.

"I-I! I'm so scared!" He covered his eyes with his hands and curled over into my chest. Awkwardly, I patted him on the head in a pathetic attempt to comfort him, "what is going to happens to us fratello… I just want to know…"

"I…really don't know…" I exhaled, "I'm scared too…"

"F-for us?" I nodded, I could feel his warm tears dripping onto my lap.

"For all of us…" Felix looked up rubbing his teary eyes.

"For A-antonio?" I choked.

"I-I… I…" I tried to force the words from my lips. But they wouldn't come, "I…"

The door swung open slowly with a long high pitched screech. I remember Feliciano and I both looking up to see the same colourless face. He stood limp in the door way… a roll of paper clutched tightly within his hand.

I peered up at him. He peered down at us. I noticed the other piece of paper. He noticed my hands. Simultaneously we spoke, "What is that?" both our voices toneless and empty.

"You're injured Lovino?" he came to his senses and realised what I had done; so he closed the door and swiftly rushed to my side, taking my hands from Feliciano's a little too quickly, I twitched in pain, "what happened!"

"It's nothing"

"It clearly is something! There's bandages and…" he looked at the shattered glass of the window and the blood dripping from the shards. His hands clamped around mine.

"You're hurting me…" I mumbled under my breath.

His eyes appeared so desperate as his brows drew together further more. His hands squeezed harder around mine and I clenched my jaw; he was so oblivious to the fact that he was causing me pain, I tore my hands from Antonio's grip, "YOU'RE HURTING ME DAMNIT!" red patches began to bloom from the white linen. He watched in revulsion, eyes wide. I held my hands to my chest and soaked in his expression. I hated him when he looked at me like this; he made me feel like I was the one that had hurt him, rather than the latter, "Like I said damnit. It is nothing. I got angry and punched the glass… nothing dramatic like suicide bastard" He closed his mouth and relaxed his brows.

"I'm sorry. I'm not myself today… " he glanced over to the roll of paper he was carrying when he entered the room. It was in the hands of Feliciano who was fumbling playfully with the red ribbon.

"What does it say?" I nodded towards the scroll. Feliciano unravelled it. His stare flicked back and forth over the scrawl; growing more intense by the second.

"It's a call to duty…" he began to read aloud.

**Antonio Hernandez Carriedo; Knight of Hearts and member of the High Court.**

**You have been called to serve your duty as Marshal and ultimate commander of the Heart's Military.**

**The King and Queen congratulate you in earning the privilege to serve in this position, and commend your continuous efforts.**

**You will train the new additions to our ranks and fight the war alongside King Ludwig as his personal Knight.**

**You will depart the Castle three days from now to begin service on the battlefield; make any necessary preparations before this time, as you will not be returning to the Castle until the war has ended. **

**This is a command.**

**Any attempts to disobey or rebel against these orders will be notified to the King directly and you will suffer the suitable consequences; whatever they may be.**

**Prepare yourself for the worst… I fear the safety of our Kingdom.**

**Signed his majesty:**

**Ludwig Beilschmidt; King of Hearts.**

The room echoed with Feliciano's last words of the letter. Was it his place to say such things? Was it his place to dictate Antonio's movements? Perhaps it was… perhaps it wasn't. We can never tell. Someone had it in for me I can tell… yes I have killed! I will cry it from the roof tops of every Kingdom to each four corners of the world! I am a killer! I have quick temper, I have sharp tongue, I drink lots of wine, I think horrid things, I was a mistake so punish me! If there is anyone up there, please I beg of you crack your whip at me! Pain me! Curse me! Strike me with lightening! Please… but don't hurt Antonio. He doesn't deserve anymore pain…

I am a bad person.

I know I am a bad person.

So why is it that I attract all things bad to those who try to help me constantly? Is there a reason for their continuous bad luck and intense misfortune? Perhaps they're being punished for harbouring an animal of humanity who is wrong and terrible and this is how they pay. I mean… let's be honest… what could be any worse than a bloodthirsty, homosexual, emotionally unstable, abused, pirate born of blood and intoxication? I was a mistake from the beginning. Once a mistake always a mistake.

I sat on the edge of the bed trying to set in line all of my thoughts roused by these two pieces of paper set in front of me. One a declaration of war. The other a call of duty. Why would this Alfred so suddenly declare war on all other kingdoms? It seemed all too sudden. Too strange. The Kingdom of Spades had grown immensely powerful and economically great for a city without any treaties or alliances set in place to ensure the security of other kingdoms. Realistically it stole away the titles of the other Kingdoms of Clubs, Diamonds and Hearts; reducing us to simply normal cities. Spades had become so great that we had lost their identity. But surely… this can't be the only factor.

My thoughts were cut short when the Knight mumbled something. I looked up at his body stretched out on the bed; his eyes staring at the ceiling and his hands behind his head, his face was bright with an idea, "what?" I said. His body shot up from the covers and a smile pasted itself upon his face.

"We'll run away," I swallowed in surprise at this sudden spark. He grinned and pressed a palm against my cheek, "tonight! We'll pack a bag and leave the castle under the cover of night!" I pushed away his hand and grumbled.

"That's a stupid idea… besides! Where the hell would we go where you're not noticed as a Knight and I'm not noticed as a killer or Jack!?" He rested his hands on my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. He pointed out the open window.

"We'll sail away! Take your boat out over the ocean and sail to anywhere we want! The world is immense and the sea is vast! We could go anywhere!" He turned back to me and ran his fingers through my hair; sweeping it back off my face, "just you and I and the ocean… we'll be pirates mi sol, mi luna y las estrellas! (my sun, my moon and stars!)" The way his face shone with an unfathomable exhilaration seized my heart strings with a clenched fist and twisted each line until it could wrench no more. There was something about his emanating optimism that made my heart beat faster and throb hopelessly in my chest as if it would burst. His green eyes glittered with the brilliance of the idea. I exhaled ineptly and felt my face boil, "come with me Lovino… we'll start over…" he held my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to lock into those enchanting green orbs, "together." I nodded shakily… and when I thought his smile could not have grown any wider; it most certainly did, he threw his arms around me and laughed jovially before pulling back and placing a quick enthusiastic kiss on my lips, "fantastico! Pack your bags mi bella sol! We leave tonight!" He leapt off the bed and almost tumbled over in happiness. At that moment…I thought I saw a lingering shadow beneath the crack in the door… but I must have been wrong; because when I blinked it was gone, how odd. Antonio brought me back, "three hours after darkness falls meet me outside the castle gates; out on the steps above the square, come cloaked and changed into normal clothes with your bag… we'll go to the docks together!" He pulled the door open and slipped out, "until then mi bella luna y las estrellas… adios!" He clicked the door closed and I could hear his footsteps scatter down the hallway.

I sighed and looked back to Feliciano who was sitting on the bed trying to soak in all that had happened in those short moments. He shook his head and frowned, "so… what's happening exactly?" I face palmed.

The day could not have passed any slower than it did. It reminded me of two days ago when Antonio left overnight for the errand of Ludwig's. Which brought me to think… what exactly did Antonio do for Ludwig on that excursion? It was curious… the declaration of war was broadcasted this morning which was the day after Antonio returned; which meant the decision must have been made not only yesterday by King Alfred of Spades. What exactly did Antonio do… plus the fact that Ludwig and Feliciano did… uh… how do I put it… the _'deed'_ that night when Antonio was out also. Why had they not done it any other night? Coincidence I think not. Perhaps Antonio was doing something that Feliciano/me would not have approved of and went ahead without his approval; Ludwig was just trying to distract him from something, or someone perhaps…

I didn't have much to pack. Just some provisions and a flask of wine for the ride was really all I needed. I didn't have a change of clothes which was not a royal garment flaunting the symbol of Heart's Kingdom.

Although I didn't have much to pack; I took my time throwing it into the shoulder bag I had acquired, I needed time to process what was happening. I had only arrived here seven years ago; this place had already become my home, the place I knew like the back of my hand… I could walk through the streets blind without wandering without purpose or bumping onto walls. I knew the streets like blood knew my veins. I was leaving all I had grown accustomed to… again. This was the second time I would be fleeing from a country and beginning a new life; creating a clean palette and wiping all the names of my past, Lovino Sagrav, Feliciano Vargas… and Lovino Vargas. Lovino Vargas. The name I had grown far too attached to. I would be leaving Feliciano; my brother, the man who took me into his care regardless of my past. He loved me as his brother and treated me with an affection that no one had ever shown to me before… he was a golden hearted man. I would miss him the most.

The moon was high and cast long shadows across the room with a cold eerie glow; the huge orb seemed to watch me sternly as I gathered random objects of mine into the bag. The soft wind whistled through the holes in the window; chilling the bedroom further, I buckled the bag closed. An item lie on the bed glinting in the light, I left it out of my bag for a reason.

"Lovi…" I spun around and saw Feliciano shut the door quietly behind him to our bedroom. His eyes were red around the edges and his face glowed with a red hue; he had been crying, I could tell by the wet sheen on his cheeks and his slightly bunged up voice, "so, this is it… you're really leaving fratello…" I slung the leather bag over one shoulder and nodded.

"Yeah…" I held the bag on my shoulder a while before remembering the item I left out, "I have something for you…" I held the cylindrical base loosely within my grip, "it's not much in comparison to what you've given to me, but it's something at least to remember me by" I held it out to Feliciano. He gasped and reluctantly took it from my bandaged hands.

"A-are you sure you want me to have this? I mean… it's beautiful-"

"Take it. I'm giving it to you" he held the knife up to his eyes to admire the intricate decoration of red leather wrapped around the hilt and silver carvings embedded in the steel. Feliciano held the knife Katyusha gave to me as a parting gift… I had decided that he needed it more than I did. I had a former Knight and Pirate… he had a War coming, "use it. It's not just for admiration… like they say," I draped my cloak around my shoulders, "a knight in shining armour is a man who has never had his metal truly tested…" Feliciano wiped the corner of his eyes with his sleeve.

"Grazie…" he pocketed the knife, "I don't have anything to give you… well nothing special and meaningful…"

"Shut up you bastard. You gave me more than enough" I snorted, "you gave me your life, your name… your protection. This sounds like complete soppy bullshit but I suppose I fucking mean it when I say I will always remember this, in this life and the next Feliciano" he sniffled and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.

"I'm going to miss you Lovino!" I shuddered. Awkwardly letting him hug me for a few seconds… but my arms acted of their own accord; and I crushed him to my chest.

"I'll miss you too fratello" that was the first and possibly the last time I would ever call Feliciano brother. We pulled apart and I began to head towards the door before being stopped.

"Oh! Don't go out that way! Gilbert has a tendency to wander the halls aimlessly at this time of night, he'll see you and wonder where you're going! As much as Gilbert is a honourable and truthful person… he does get increasingly curious sometimes" Feliciano blocked the door and turned me away.

"Where the hell am I supposed to get out then!?" he shushed me and opened the wardrobe doors. I looked at him in mystification; as if he was expecting a magical parallel universe to spring out of the wardrobe behind the coats, but no… I watched as he pushed aside the clothing and pushed against the backboard of the wardrobe. My mouth dropped in amazement as he slid the back of the wardrobe to one side; revealing a tunnel, a long tunnel of stone pillars, torches and marble floors. He turned back to me and smiled, "follow me…" with that he stepped inside the tunnel and offered me a hand up. He picked up a flaming torch from the nearest pillar and led me through the secret passage way, "this passage is part of the evacuation tunnel for the castle, every single bed room of the castle leads to this main passage way… all we need to do is follow it until we reach the maid's quarters… that's where we can creep down a ladder and into the sewers of the Castle. After that we'll be on a straight path to the Castle gates! But you'll have to be super quiet with your footsteps, the marble makes my footsteps sound like gunshots with the way this tunnel echoes! So keep your voice down to a whisper and step carefully, okay?" I shook my head as we turned another corner. Feliciano strode through the tunnels as if he owned the place.

"How do you know the way so well… it's like you sneak around all the time the way you know this route!" He giggled quietly.

"I've known this castle basically all my life! I know all the halls, scenic and short routes around this castle! I usually use these tunnels to get to Ludwig's room without running into the guards…" I frowned. He used these tunnels to get to Ludwig's sleeping chambers. Then it clicked. I had always wondered how he was able to leave the room at night without waking me up by closing and opening the door. It was a little concerning… but that wouldn't matter in a few minutes. I would be gone.

My feet splashed down into the reeking sewers of the castle, I moaned in repulsion as the smell swathed in my nasal cavities. Feliciano hung off the ladder and smiled down at me, "walk straight to get into the square…"

"Thank you for everything Felix… I'll see you sometime in the future"

"Soon I hope!" he grinned. I turned away from him and began to squelch towards the exit. I stopped. A notion sprung into my mind and I turned to Feliciano who was just about to start climbing back up.

"It's funny…" I caught his attention, "… we never found out the reason behind our identical appearance… strange… don't you think?" He shook his head and smiled.

"Not really. If I find out I'll write to you!" I nodded.

"Yeah… see ya later…" I turned away from the man who I had mimicked for the past seven years of my life… the man who acted as my brother and showed me affection. His amber eyes and auburn hair would live on in my memory and mirror forever, I thought as I stepped out of the sewer and into the moon glow.

I met Antonio exactly where he said he'd be; and we began our journey under the unyielding eye of the moon, slinking between shadows and mischievous glances. Occasionally running into a drunk or tripping over a sleeping cat. I laughed. This was exhilarating… and so incredibly exciting. The boats lulled at the docks lazily bobbing upon the water's surface which lapped gently at the stony shore and barnacled boat hulls. Quickly we scuttled to the end of the first dock; to my boat, which had waited so obediently for my return. I inhaled the cool sea breeze as Antonio stepped onto the boat warily, causing it to rock at the sudden contact. He tossed his bag down into the boat and extended his arms up to me as I threw my bag into his face; he fell backwards in shock, I just chuckled silently to myself as his facial expression. He growled at me, "you cheeky bugger! Come 'ere!" He crawled off the boat and clutched me to his chest with his strong arms; they wrapped around my waist snugly, and instantly I felt so safe… so protected. As if nothing could touch me. He nuzzled his face into the side of my face and trailed small kisses across my face, "I can't believe we're doing this mi amor… I would never have done this before!" He kissed me on the nose, "it's you. You're a bad influence on me mi sol! It's all your fault!"

"Let me remind you whose idea it was to escape the castle Houdini! I had nothing to do with this!" he pressed his lips against my forehead and rested his own upon mine.

"But you followed me didn't you?" he chuckled. I grabbed his chin and forced him to look into my eyes. I frowned.

"Antonio. I would follow you into the dark…" he gazed at me with hazy half-lidded eyes, before gently pressing his velvety lips against mine. His arms clutched me closer to his body; I could feel the heat of his breath condense on my cheek as he licked my bottom lip and slipped his tongue in, he bruised my lips to his as he became hungrier and hungrier for my taste. Reluctantly we tore away to catch our breath. To my surprise he held my under the armpits and lifted me off my feet; as he did in the bathroom that day he left, he held my legs to his chest. He looked up at me.

"You look like an angel mi luna y las estrellas…" I blushed, "when we set sail… the first thing I'm going to do…is show you… how much I love you" I blushed harder. He started bringing me down to face level, "Tue res mi sol… tu eres mi luna y las estrellas…(You are my sun… you are my moon and stars…)" he pressed his nose against mine, we were a breath away from each other… intoxicated with each other's scent and immersed in one another's existence, " tu eres mi to-"

"HALT!" I froze in the blinding light from the opposite end of the dock. I didn't turn away. Antonio's pupils shrunk to pinpoints; and everything in his presence turned cold, "PUT THE MAN DOWN! I REPEAT PUT THE MAN DOWN!" Antonio whispered beneath his breath, something that I couldn't understand because it was too quiet. But I could already read his expression as he lowered me down.

This is the end.

I felt my feet rest upon the docks and we both turned toward the intense bean of light burning out our eyeballs, "RAISE YOUR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEADS AND FREEZE!" reluctantly we raised our arms. The light began to get closer to us and I felt every ounce of hope in my body drain onto the dock below me.

"I love you Lovino." Antonio quickly whispered beneath his breath. Out of the corner of my eye I could just make out a hopeless expression. He knew there was no way out of this, we were cornered.

An assassin and a murderer.

"I love you too Antonio, " I juddered. With that being said, the light dimmed slightly and after my eyes adjusted to the darkness my breath hitched and I felt my hands clench into fists. A rotting dread began to eat away at my stomach.

"So it's true…" the man ground his teeth down and pierced my chest with his icy glare, "you are fooling around with him…" never once did his eyes leave mine, "you're abandoning me. For HIM!" I opened my mouth. But no words came out, "…Feliciano…" he whispered softly, "…I…I trusted you… more than anyone…I TRUSTED YOU!" He yelled. He stood back and shook his head, "after all I 've done for you THIS is how you repay me? You are repulsive…" he sneered, utterly disgusted… heartbroken, "get them both out of my sight…" he turned away, "bring the former Knight to the throne room… we have some _business_ to attend to…" the huge man turned his back on us and began to stride down the dock; the wood clomping beneath his feet, I could not allow this to be the way it ends for me. For us.

"Ludwig!" I yelled. He didn't make as much as a flinch, "LUDWIG!"

There was a clang. A sharp pang in my skull. My vision blurred. My senses dulled.

The last I saw was my world tipping sideways and the former Knight thrashing out at the guards gripping him. He reached out for me.

_All went black… and __**red**__._


End file.
